phobia

I have a fear of bridges and it actually has a name-- gephyrophobia
http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12355 and the following short blurb is sooooo me.

"Fear of bridges: An abnormal and persistent fear of bridges, especially crossing bridges. Sufferers of this phobia experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. Their fear may result partly from the fear of enclosure (claustrophobia) or the fear of heights (acrophobia). Phobic drivers may worry about being in an accident in busy traffic or losing control of their vehicles. High bridges over waterways and gorges can be especially intimidating, as can be very long or very narrow bridges....."

I am ok with driving over and under regular overpasses on interstate roads..as long as they don't curve at all. But wooden country bridges around here give me the heebie jeebies something fierce. As do old bridges,yuck! I hold my breath over them and actually try to squish my legs together and my arms into my body as much as I can. Any bridge that will take longer than 2 seconds to cross will start to give me an anxiety attack...............however, *knock on wood* I am an excellent driver and have never been in an accident, and driving in heavy traffic, including Semi-trucks does not bother me at all....just those damn bridges. Driving through Cedar Rapids IA is a doosy for me as the entire interstate through town is curved bridges. As long as i don't see any accidents, and stay in the middle lane, as it is no where near the guard-rail, I am nervously ok.

So, Estelle, If M and the kids ever come and visit, the journey will be planned with crossing the least bridges as possible. And the Sunshine Skyway Bridge will have to be avoided at all costs EEK! Are there ferries there?

I used to cross a toll bridge from Ia to MO that had a metalmesh road, not one bit of cement, and the tires would make a scary noise going across it. I was white knuckled and scared shitless! needless to say, I have a rerouted my drive and have very few creepy bridges to cross.

December 15, 1967, the Silver Bridge collapsed claiming 46 lives and injuring 9

These bridges are archtetually beautiful, but if I HAD to cross them, i would have to get out of the car and crawl across.


















...and would you look at that! there is road construction!!! narrowing the road even further!!! and narrowing my trachea even more!





How about that for a weird but true phobia?....now if I could find out if the fear of aging has a name.

After all of that---I am NOT afraid of airplanes or flying, at all, in fact it is fun and exciting for me...eh, go figure...my brain is weird!

dun dun duhhhhhhhhh

at 8:40 am US central standard time I officailly turn 30....

I am turning off all phones and I am sleeping all day.

Age ain't nuthin' but a number....

Most of us have heard this dandy little old addage, right? Dear friends, I am having a very difficult time with this year's age. As you may recall, in a few days it is my birthday, and I am looking forwards to it like one would look forward to having novocane-free dental work done whilst systematically having all of one's toenails ripped out AT the same time. Even the weather forecast for my area reflects my mood, stormy and overcast. I feel like I should be going to a funeral.

I had a mini-birthday anxiety thing 5 years ago when I knew I only had five years left of being in my twenties, and that I was one quarter of a century. (my younger brother went through the same thing, perhaps this is heriditary???) In a few days, my twenties will be dead, poof, gone, just fading memories.

Good grief! I AM NOT MATURE ENOUGH YET TO BE IN MY 30'S...My brain says that i am still 18...just with the added responsibilities of being a parent chucked in there.

I set great store into birthdays and I think that out of all the days of the year, that one day, the day that you transitioned from the womb to dry land, should be YOUR day, your day to have attention and you be selfish, screw the diet, and if you are of legal age to have a good screw. Birthday should be spelled BirthMEday, in my book. And it MUST be celebrated ON your birth date and not the nearest weekend for convienience. This year, huh uhhh, somebody else can have it. I'll stay 29, thank-you-verra-much.

I was supposed to go on a 6 hour drive to go see, and "mini-vacation" at their home, some really good friends of mine. It has been at tradition that I spend my birthday with them, unless I am working, or, um, out of the country and spending it with M. Can't happen this year due to several factors. We all are bummed about it. Our little Mini-party before the Fourth of July party and picnic and fireworks.

So this year, I predict that I will get a lovely bunch of flowers and a card from the folks, we will go clean their church like we always do on Thursdays, and go out to eat like we always do on Thursdays. It will be rainy and horrible out so my kids can't play outside, and they'll be rotten little buggers. I will grow porcupine needles out my back, Sabre-tooth fangs, and the disposition of a badger or wolverine--i haven't decided which one yet--don't touch me, don't hug me, don't look at me....and I will cry, and cry most of the day.

I *know* that I am still young yet, but my white hairs both on my head and ...yes, and the newly found white pubic hairs, say that I am not.

So after reading my long winded pity party: (thank you for making it this far)

Did you ever have an unhappy birthday?
Did NOT want to be wished a happy birthday?
A specific age that you didn't want to turn?
Birthday anxiety?
......or am I a complete nutter and just need to be in a padded room?

I love the 80's

Final Score: 128


Your 80's Music Score

I HAD a great post for LGBT Families day, but blogger ate it!!!

Join
1 a : to put or bring together so as to form a unit b : to connect (as points) by a line c : ADJOIN
2 : to put or bring into close association or relationship
3 : to engage in (battle)
4 a : to come into the company of b : to associate oneself with
intransitive senses
1 a : to come together so as to be connected b : ADJOIN
2 : to come into close association or relationship: as a : to form an alliance b : to become a member of a group c : to take part in a collective activity


I say we substitute from now on "join" for the word "marriage" from now on.

Much love to all my LGBT friends out there and I hope that one day soon that all Joinings are legal.

Celebrating LGBT Family Love

June 1-- Blogging for LGBT Families Day**** the lost post is found!!!***

****WOOO HOOO What was lost, is now found! (and appearantly put in the proper order of posts. This post was really lost, honest, LOL******

In honor of Blogging for LGBT Families Day

I rarely get to show my pride since, well, I have no real life connections to events, so YAY, here is my little snippet for all those families that struggle with obtaining, or completely missing out, laws to legally unite, and protect families. I am bi, have fallen in love with a man, but we must wade through legalities in order to legally join since he is a UK citizen and we are trying to have him legally immigrate to the US.

Our plight is not exactly the same as the numerous lgbt families who are trying to have the same rights and privelidges as straights are given just by being born straight. (Sad states of affairs when a bad abusive straight parent has more rights than a loving non-bio lgbt parent has.) I would love it if my fiance' could adopt both of my kids, but their bio-dad would rather go to the dentist and then smash all of his computers before letting M adopt.

The US gov't takes a lot of the romance out of getting wed. M and I have decided that since the gov't has imposed a timeline on when M and I must legally wed, we are going to just go to a justice of the peace and just sign the document. Just another document and form in the long list of documents and forms. The REAL day will be the "Blessing Ceremony" where we will truely be joined in our hearts and souls forever (as if we aren't already)....and all of this is IF (cross fingers here) the USCIS sees fit to allow it.

I would love to see that someday where all the States get off their high holier than thou horses and allow ALL loving parents to be parents in all senses of the word parent. Could you just imagine the wonderful impact of all these loving arms to be able to open up for all the kids in foster care and those in need of adoption?!?

I remember a friend of mine lamenting how he and his husband would love to be parents some day, and they didn't care if the child was bio-related or not, but the State laws were totally against them. At that point in my life I was too self-centered to offer it, but as I have aged and matured, becoming a surrogate, after I am done with having my kids, is something that I'd dearly love to do.