since I won't be here

I am taking off tomorrow to go see my boy and go to his conferences--YAY! I miss my son.

Wednesday is my parent's 38th anniversary and Tomorrow is my grandmother's 82nd birthday. Happy Anniversary L and E!!! Happy Birthday Grandma E!!!

I am going to miss all of them when I go. It is truely bitter-sweet. I want to be with my guy and I want to stay at home, but I know that it is for the best, but my heart is sad for leaving my kids. It'll be a few months until I see them again, but it still hurts. I hope that M helps to keep me busy so I don't get too depressed, and when I do get sleepy sleep depressed that he will understand and not get too upset at me.

So anyway, I get to spend some time with my boy, and the kids get to see each other again, and I get to be a full mom again for a few days and then when I leave, a partial mom. That is the hard part--leaving him behind. One day we will all be reunited and I will be a whole mom again with all my children near me.

On that note I am off to go be with both my kids--see ya around Halloween!

A bit of good news

We have been looking at all the regular on-line cheap airline-book-it-yourself type places looking for the best ticket prices for me to fly to M. The best that we have found are about $425 USD with ALL extra taxes and add ons that there usually is put on plane tickets. Slight catch, I land in Dublin first, and we didn't know if that would "fly" (pun intended, HA). We thought that with a fiance's visa that I would have to land in the city that I was planning to live in. That would then bump up the price to $1125 USD to fly directly to my destination city.

After many calls today, M found out that we are good to go with my visa getting into Ireland and then on to the UK.

In other news, I am able to go to both of my children's conferences and still have a Halloween with them. Halloween is important to me and spending that day with both of them. We usually go to a Haunted Hallways and this year they are having it on a Saturday th 28th! My son, who lives 6 hours away, has conferences on the 26th and that is SUPER important that I make it to this one because it is his yearly IEP meeting as well. My daughter's conferences will either be on the 30th or 31st. So it all falls together. whew and perfect! Education and Halloween, 2 of my favorite things!

i love this commercial

how beauty is made

(~~) October is.. (~~)

..my favorite month..

Here are a few happenings in October:
1st--International Frugal Fun Day--Pumpkin Day--Scare a Friend Day
2nd--National Custodial Day--World Farm Animal Day
3rd--Supreme Court Day--World Habitat Day
4th--Toot Your Flute Day
5th--World Teachers Day
6th--Mad Hatter Day--National Depression Screening Day
7th--National Diversity Day--World Smile Day
8th--Back to Basics Day
9th--World Post Day
10th--Nation Kick Butt Day--Hunter's Moon
11th--National Coming Out Day
12th--International Moment of Frustration Scream Day-- International Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work or School Day
13th--Navy Birthday
14th--Be Bald and Be Free Day--World Egg Day
15th--National Grouch Day --Sweetest Day
16th--World Food Day
17th--National Boss's Day--Mulligan Day
18th--World Menopause Day
19th--Evaluate Your Life Day
20th--Black Poetry Day
21st--Mammography Day
22nd--Reptile Awareness Day
23rd--Mother-in-Law Day--National Mole Day
24th--United Nations Day
25th--Cartoonists Against Crime Day
26th--Mule Day
27th--Cranky Co-Workers Day
28th--Frankenstein Friday--Ugly Pick-Up Truck Day
29th--Bring Your Jack-O-Lantern To Work Day--Internet Day
30th--Create a Great Funeral Day--Haunted Refrigerator Night
31st--National Knock Knock Jokes Day AND....
HALLOWEEN

My favorite holiday!!

feeling a bit better

I had some talks with friends and with M and they all assure me that I am doing the right thing. I hope so, as I still feel abit yucky, but then every decent parent would right?

I talk to 2 sets of friends and they are in agreement that I am doing the right thing and that they will surely miss me, and that when we come back for a visit that we must see them. Which goes to say.

now I need to deal with all of my stuff. I have 2 storage spaces with household items and one of them must be moved from 1 1/2 hours away from here and consolidated into one. I am not looking forwards to ditching most of my things like my dad wants, however, they are paying for the storage, so their rules, their game.

that is news so far. talk to ya soon

I am Back and I got some more big changes!

Ok so Missouri didn't work out for now, but perhaps in 2-5 years it will.

Change you ask....I AM MOVING TO ENGLAND!!!! After much time of agonizing over the choice, and finding out that it will only take about 2 weeks paperwork for me to go there, rather then the waiting and waiting that the USA has us doing. We are tired of torturing ourselves. Logically it makes sense as he is the one to offer more stability--2 years at one job and 2 years in the same apartment, where I have been floating around trying to find a place and job for us. Emotionally, I just want to be with the person that I love.

My daughter is staying with my folks until she is done with Kindergarten, which was the plan all along, no matter where I moved. My son (who is excelling at his school at the moment and who is living with his father) will come over for the 6 weeks summer along with my daughter. This is the part that tears me up inside. which is better---me taking the kids away in the first part of the school year to a different country, or leaving them behind temporarily. this is the part that I bawl and bawl over. It was hard enough letting my son make the choice to live with his dad all those years ago, it still cuts deeply. It was hard enough making the choice to let my daughter stay with my folks while she goes to kindergarten. As a mother, as a human, am I doing right by my kids?

the joy and the sorrows of it all. I'll write more later...tears make writing difficult