I made it safely

I am here and safe and much much happier than when I left! When M and I were reunited at the airport, I just grabbed him snd kissed him hard, even infront of his parents. \I just didn't care, I was just focused on him. He told me later that there were some "Awwws" from the surrounding crowd.

It seems that I made it out of the US Midwest just in time as there was a dumping of snow at Chicago O'Hare less than 24 hours after I flew out. that was timing!

So far It hasn't hit me that I am home, I have to unpack yet and girlie-ize this bachellor's pad and then I will feel at home, LOL!

Oh and I thought that it was going to look dry and brown here like it does in the midwest---Nope! it is LUSH and Green here and it is December! I love it!

Off to go be a bride

today I leave for the UK to be with M and to get married exactly a month from today. My flight leaves at 1:50 central and I land tomorrow at 10:00 am GMT (or 4am central). My feelings are ambivelent, which suck because I want to be joyous, but I am leaving my friends and family behind, and that is tearful and hard.

I'll post when I can,
me

Well--off to be a bride's maid

In the morning I go off to be a bride's maid--again... that makes 3xs in my life before I am joined with my soulmate. My friend, K, is marrying my good guy friend, J, on Tuesday at 3 pm. I am excited to be there and see them get married to the "right" people as I was there at both of their former marriages.

Ahh, Love is in the air!

Soon, 'twill be time for M and I to be joined lawfully then in March joined spiritually.

"Lift Me Up"

by Geri Halliwell (Former Ginger Spice of the Spice Girls)

Watch the first light kiss the New World
It's a wonder, baby like you and I
All the colours of the rainbow
Going somewhere, baby like you and I
It's going to be alright
But when my clouds sky over

(Lift Me Up) When the day is over
(Take me up) When the sun is going down
(Show me love) I will be your angel now
(Lift Me Up) When the lights are fading
(Talk me down) When I'm flying way up high
(Show me love) And I'll be your angel for life
Your angel for life

Like the seasons ever changing
Everlasting baby, like you and I
It's going to be alright
But when my sky clouds over

(Lift Me Up) When the day is over
(Take me up) When the sun is going down
(Show me love) I will be your angel now
(Lift Me Up) When the lights are fading
(Talk me down) When I'm flying way up high
(Show me love) And I'll be your angel for life
Your angel for life

No matter where we run
Who knows what we will become
Is there a world we know
Where life will naturally

(Lift Me Up) When the day is over
(Take me up) When the sun is going down
(Show me love) I will be your angel now
(Lift Me Up) When the lights are fading
(Talk me down) When I'm flying way up high
(Show me love) And I'll be your angel for life
Your angel for life
[Repeat]

better now

I had a chat with M about everything and he helped to show me that this is the right choice for all of us. We even started looking into schools for my daughter and we need to look further for my son if he choses to stay.

It all makes logical sense, but my heart still hurts.

Real cry

Remember that I was having a hard time crying over temporarily leaving my kids back in the States. I am bawling my eyes out. It is getting closer and I don't know how I am going to do it. I am going to go curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out.

Bra situation solved

I went shopping with my mother the other day and while we were finding an outfit to wear to the registry office wedding, I was also measured for a bra. I was off by 2 inches and those inches make a HUGE difference!

Who knows, I may come to like bras...

$#*!@ Bras!!!

Confound the Damn things!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!

I just bought a *real* bra for the first time in years. I normally wear soft comfy boob shelf making sports bras. The cup ones never fit right, so the plainer the better comfort for me. However, the sports bras don't show off my best attributes and give me that boob-shelf uni-boob look.

So I measured, and was all prepared, bought a real lift and support bra for 18hours worth of wearing. Functional with alittle lace to be sexy. The damn thing is the right size around and the cups are the right size but the thing still pokes and hurts anyway. Back to the sports bras, I guess.

You other Ladies have similar issues? How do you go about finding one that fits? how many of you have 23859628346592834 bras that are pushed to the back of your underwear drawer that just have one minor flaw that makes them uncomfortable?

Tickets and tears

The tickets to the UK have been ordered and paid for, so now it is official that I am going over to my M, my love, :)

I am still dealing with the *Blah* emotions of going there though. Temporary as it is, I am still leaving my kids behind for awhile and that just tears me up. More than I really let on to others. Maybe I should just have a bawling fit and just get over it. Kinda like making yourself vomit when you are nauseous, just so you don't have to feel AS nauseous as you were before. I need to vomit tears. I need to find that syrup of ipicac for my emotions, but so far my emotional drug store is closed. Plus I need to time it just right so that my daughter doesn't see it or know about it.

So, for now, I will stoically stifle my bittersweet tears of sorrow and joy and continue being a bothersom mother and hug my daughter at every opportunity. I'll smother my son when I see him next, with hugs and kisses.

~*WOOT*~

WE ARE APPROVED!!!


I got the message tonight and the very nice lady said that I am approved for a fiance' visa for the UK and I will be receiving the paperwork back, via Fed Ex, within the next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so happy that I called M at 2am his time, and hollered down the phone at him that we did it, we are approved, I am free to fly over anytime now! Poor guy probably will think it a dream and read it here to confirm what I told him, LOL!

This is what we wanted in some form or another since Stonehenge, June 21st 2005. WE DID IT!!!! We can finally get married!!!!

Now---Let's Celebrate!!!!

Friends

While I was up seeing my son and doing some visiting with other friends, I ran into a good friend of mine that I hadn't heard from her since December. She lost my number and I thought that they had moved, but it turns out that they are right where I left them. I spent some time with her and her kids and her hubby catching up on how everyone has been and life in general. The kids are cute and grown bigger as kids are wont to do. Both she and the hubby look good. It was great to see them!

Conferences

My son's conferences went..well...like a kick to the parental teeth. Academically he is doing terrific, but his behaviors are terrible. So he might have to go back on his meds for his O.D.D. (Oppositional Defiance Dysorder). His father and I just weaned him off of them and we thought that by schedule and good parenting that he could be off meds.

We will see how his behaviors go.

My daughter's conferences went really well. she has a few times that she needs extra reminders to do something, but otherwise she is good.

She also has her first loose tooth---it feels just like yesterday that we got all those pearly whites in and all the teething pain that we had to go through with them... *sigh* oh well.

since I won't be here

I am taking off tomorrow to go see my boy and go to his conferences--YAY! I miss my son.

Wednesday is my parent's 38th anniversary and Tomorrow is my grandmother's 82nd birthday. Happy Anniversary L and E!!! Happy Birthday Grandma E!!!

I am going to miss all of them when I go. It is truely bitter-sweet. I want to be with my guy and I want to stay at home, but I know that it is for the best, but my heart is sad for leaving my kids. It'll be a few months until I see them again, but it still hurts. I hope that M helps to keep me busy so I don't get too depressed, and when I do get sleepy sleep depressed that he will understand and not get too upset at me.

So anyway, I get to spend some time with my boy, and the kids get to see each other again, and I get to be a full mom again for a few days and then when I leave, a partial mom. That is the hard part--leaving him behind. One day we will all be reunited and I will be a whole mom again with all my children near me.

On that note I am off to go be with both my kids--see ya around Halloween!

A bit of good news

We have been looking at all the regular on-line cheap airline-book-it-yourself type places looking for the best ticket prices for me to fly to M. The best that we have found are about $425 USD with ALL extra taxes and add ons that there usually is put on plane tickets. Slight catch, I land in Dublin first, and we didn't know if that would "fly" (pun intended, HA). We thought that with a fiance's visa that I would have to land in the city that I was planning to live in. That would then bump up the price to $1125 USD to fly directly to my destination city.

After many calls today, M found out that we are good to go with my visa getting into Ireland and then on to the UK.

In other news, I am able to go to both of my children's conferences and still have a Halloween with them. Halloween is important to me and spending that day with both of them. We usually go to a Haunted Hallways and this year they are having it on a Saturday th 28th! My son, who lives 6 hours away, has conferences on the 26th and that is SUPER important that I make it to this one because it is his yearly IEP meeting as well. My daughter's conferences will either be on the 30th or 31st. So it all falls together. whew and perfect! Education and Halloween, 2 of my favorite things!

i love this commercial

how beauty is made

(~~) October is.. (~~)

..my favorite month..

Here are a few happenings in October:
1st--International Frugal Fun Day--Pumpkin Day--Scare a Friend Day
2nd--National Custodial Day--World Farm Animal Day
3rd--Supreme Court Day--World Habitat Day
4th--Toot Your Flute Day
5th--World Teachers Day
6th--Mad Hatter Day--National Depression Screening Day
7th--National Diversity Day--World Smile Day
8th--Back to Basics Day
9th--World Post Day
10th--Nation Kick Butt Day--Hunter's Moon
11th--National Coming Out Day
12th--International Moment of Frustration Scream Day-- International Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work or School Day
13th--Navy Birthday
14th--Be Bald and Be Free Day--World Egg Day
15th--National Grouch Day --Sweetest Day
16th--World Food Day
17th--National Boss's Day--Mulligan Day
18th--World Menopause Day
19th--Evaluate Your Life Day
20th--Black Poetry Day
21st--Mammography Day
22nd--Reptile Awareness Day
23rd--Mother-in-Law Day--National Mole Day
24th--United Nations Day
25th--Cartoonists Against Crime Day
26th--Mule Day
27th--Cranky Co-Workers Day
28th--Frankenstein Friday--Ugly Pick-Up Truck Day
29th--Bring Your Jack-O-Lantern To Work Day--Internet Day
30th--Create a Great Funeral Day--Haunted Refrigerator Night
31st--National Knock Knock Jokes Day AND....
HALLOWEEN

My favorite holiday!!

feeling a bit better

I had some talks with friends and with M and they all assure me that I am doing the right thing. I hope so, as I still feel abit yucky, but then every decent parent would right?

I talk to 2 sets of friends and they are in agreement that I am doing the right thing and that they will surely miss me, and that when we come back for a visit that we must see them. Which goes to say.

now I need to deal with all of my stuff. I have 2 storage spaces with household items and one of them must be moved from 1 1/2 hours away from here and consolidated into one. I am not looking forwards to ditching most of my things like my dad wants, however, they are paying for the storage, so their rules, their game.

that is news so far. talk to ya soon

I am Back and I got some more big changes!

Ok so Missouri didn't work out for now, but perhaps in 2-5 years it will.

Change you ask....I AM MOVING TO ENGLAND!!!! After much time of agonizing over the choice, and finding out that it will only take about 2 weeks paperwork for me to go there, rather then the waiting and waiting that the USA has us doing. We are tired of torturing ourselves. Logically it makes sense as he is the one to offer more stability--2 years at one job and 2 years in the same apartment, where I have been floating around trying to find a place and job for us. Emotionally, I just want to be with the person that I love.

My daughter is staying with my folks until she is done with Kindergarten, which was the plan all along, no matter where I moved. My son (who is excelling at his school at the moment and who is living with his father) will come over for the 6 weeks summer along with my daughter. This is the part that tears me up inside. which is better---me taking the kids away in the first part of the school year to a different country, or leaving them behind temporarily. this is the part that I bawl and bawl over. It was hard enough letting my son make the choice to live with his dad all those years ago, it still cuts deeply. It was hard enough making the choice to let my daughter stay with my folks while she goes to kindergarten. As a mother, as a human, am I doing right by my kids?

the joy and the sorrows of it all. I'll write more later...tears make writing difficult

~~Just to Let You Know~~

I am going to be away (again) from the internet for quite possibly until M joins me over in the USA. which from the looks of it, could be around Christmastime.

I have found what looks like some decent job (and plentiful) opportunities for M and me, as well as possible college/Uni's that I/we could attend, near some friends of ours down in the middle of Missouri. This is a huge step, so please wish us luck.

Remember that I loves ya all my 3 blog readers, and that I'll be seeing ya soon. I'll be sure to make an entry at your blogs as soon as I have internet again. Perhaps I will visit the local library. Good luck with your lives until then.

Love,
Lizz

P.S. There are lots of cool wild lizards in the area that we are relocating. ahhh Lizzard Heaven!

Warwick Castle

Shakespeare's birthplace

This was the childhood home of William. The walls have painted cloths on it very much like handpainted wallpaper. The house has been furnished authentically and has real and replica items. His father was a glove maker and a very successful one at that. He would have the equivalent of $2,000,000.00 in today's US money, so he could have paid for Will's education.

I love the back window facing the garden that is on the second floor. To me that would have been what was in Willie's mind when he was writing Romeo and Juliet's balcony and garden scene. i wanted to act it out, but the windows were shut and I think M was too sore and tired to act out the scene anyways.

The very next day, M and his Mum and I went back to Stratford to see Patrick Stewart (AKA Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise) play Prospero in "The Tempest". Here is what the Royal Shakespeare Company's flyer blurb has to say. "Shakespeare's magical last play - his poignant farewell to the stage - has love, tragedy, and comedy combined in equal measure. The usurped Prospero draws his enemies to an enchanted island to exact his revenge, yet ultimately finds peace and the ability to forgive." Patrick was excellent as one would expect, however Julian Bleach, the man that played the spirit Ariel, was the creepy coolness that upstaged Pat with his talent. Creepy Ariel--I loved it!

This was one of the highlights to the trip this year. I got to have a full Shakespearean experience, and I thought that I liked the Bard before, but now I love him!

Unfortunately this will be the last time that I visit as it seems that everytime that I go to Stratford, terrorist things happen. 7-7-05 the London bombings--M and I were in stratford that day. This year we get back from, and then are going back on 10th Aug and there is a terrorist plot uncovered to blow up planes to the US while they are over the atlantic---talk about scaring the s**t outta me! So we vowed not to take me back there, and that is fine.

Mary Arden's farm

This is where i really don't have any pictures to show you because M has them. This is where his favorite part is-- the "Heart of England Falconry" They fly owls and hawks and falcons--Oh My! and they have classes on how to hunt with and to care for birds of prey. M was like a little boy in a candy store. We didn't get into the lessons, however M did get to fly and feed a HUGE owl. Enraptured is most definately the word!

Mary Arden was Shakespeare's mother, and the farm place was a working farm up until the 1970s. The tour of the home was fantastic, however there was no picture taking allowed. It was a tudor style home but with 19th century furniture as that is what was there when the last occupent left in the 1970's.

a real post :) finally!

I had a fabulous time in England! M always makes it wonderful for me, both just staying in his flat and going out and playing tourist.

We went to Birmingham, to the city centre, or downtown area and we took pictures. We went in places, such as a church, that is older than the USA. I love the old archetecture and could have spent hours just laying in the middle of the floor noticing all the details. There were garoyles and faces carved out of the stone pillars and the window frames. There were beautiful windows, and one was saved right before a bombing during WWII. We went to a catholic church next and I don't think that I have ever seen so much goldleafing in one place before-was a bit gawdy (Ha! pun intended!)


We then went to a nice downstairs pub for a pub lunch and a pint. I fell in love with Guiness Draught Cold-one pint went quickly and I was tipsy. I had fish and chips as per my usual :) I think that the pub building was also older than the USA judging by the beams and construction.

That is one thing that I both like and worry about, that a lot of their listed or historical buildings are still being used today rather than being an empty museum piece. I worry about the wear and tear done to the building, however as a greedy American tourist, I love that they are still open and that I don't have to pay to get in them.

M had to work a few of the days that I was there, so I would sit on the top deck of the double decker and take pictures and play tourist (I would also go down and make out with my favorite busdriver whilst he was on his breaks, LOL, M and I would give the closed circuit cameras something to watch---oh so naughty we were!)

We went to Stratford-upon-Avon again. For those of you who don't know your English Lit and it's history, that is where William Shakespeare was born, and was married. We went around on a tour bus to 3 of the main historical sites. Last year we tried to cram in as many as we could in less than half the time we had this year. We opted to slow it down this year, mosey around and enjoy the sites.

First stop was Anne Hathaway's cottage.






This was the childhood home of Shakespeare's wife and courted her here. She was 26 years old and he just 18 when they married. The Shakespeares never lived here, nor was it ever Anne's farm house, her decendants were smart in knowing that tourists coming to Stratford would want to see anything still surviving that was related to Shakespeare himself. It was renamed Anne Hathaway's cottage to play on the quiantness of the house and farm. The Gardens are BEAUTIFUL and a horticulturalist's dream, and a gardener's nightmare, LOL!

I am going to end this entry and start the next at Mary Arden's Farm.

I am back in the USA, and here is a filler post until I get 'round to telling you all about my fanastic time in the UK!

Chaotic Good Elf Mage Bard
Follower Of

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This sounds a lot like my favorite character, Sylva Myst. She was a Silver elf, and a Ranger-Mage.

At least I didn't come up as an Ogre, Like my complete opposite character Ovax Grox

I love England

Yesterday, M and I went to a great little restaurant and had a romantic meal by candle-light. Afterwards, we met up with M's folks and went to see The Pirates of the Carribean, Dead man's chest. It was fantasic.

I loved the most though was the ride back to M's flat. He and I sat in the back of his parent's car and I watched out the window. I love this city at night. the lights are different colors from back in the states, and they have road markers that are these white plasticy thing with lights in them. I get such a kick out of it. even the car headlights are different in their brightness. the low beams look like a small candle was put in it.

Today I went out shopping, and it was somewhat familiar using the pound based currency. I do alright for making correct change when I don't have a huge line of shoppers behind me. I love listening to people talk. and talk about the mundane things like how their Mum's car is a green Corsa. Or that loaf of bread is tasty. Or that child is naughty. I love soaking up the accent. It can be a bit musical to my ears.

I am cleaning around the flat whilst M is out at work, and down below is a big city bus stop, and when I take breaks I watch the busses and people going here and there. It amazes me that these huge double decker busses can travel around on thses narrow little roads made for cars that are no bigger than a breadbox.

I really do love this country, and I am glad that England will always be a part of my life.

And she surfaces for air!

I made it to England just fine, very little turbulence, but the plane was PACKED!! I had some nice east Indian men that sat next to me that mostly conversed in their language, but were pleasant when i needed something. I was scared shitless that I'd get held up at immigration and sent back because I was going to see my fiance'.
"purpse of visit?"
"pleasure"
"By pleasure you mean?"
"I am visiting my fiance' and his parentsfor 27 days and then I am going to go back to the US on the 23 of August."
"What was the reason that you were held up last time?" looks at my passport again.
"I believe that it was because I had never met my fiance', was staying for 6 weeks and that they might have been worried that i was staying to get married, which i was not and my fiance; and I have a K-1 Visa for him to come to the USA to me and get married over there."
"27 days here, right?"
"yes, I am going back to the States on the 23rd of august."
"Ok, enjoy your stay!--Next"
------WHEW-----
but as fate would have it, I had one piece of lost luggage. But that arrived the next day via courrier. Poor M, he was a bundle of nerves waiting for me because he had no idea why I had been held up. He was nearly in tears when he saw me and that i was ok!
but that wasn't all...The McDonald's cold burger gave me a bit of food poisoning and I spent the next 2 days fevering, and running to the bathroom, and sleeping. On the 3rd fullday I was much better.
So then with me feeling much better, M and I got to making each other feeling a lot better :) 9 months apart and I felt like I was a virgin again---really. I thought that I was joking that I had cobwebs down there--but i really wasn't. M said that I felt like a virgin. SO i guess really without using it, holes can grow shut!! Amazing because I have had 2 babies pass through there!!!
so I am "relearning to ride this bike again"

Besides that, I love being back in the UK, and being around the accent all the time rather than listening to it on the TV. I love riding on the double deckers and seeing all the lovely gardens and flowers boxes in the roundabout islands.
I saw M's mum yesterday and she hugged me and cried when she saw me....I really love her too, today was a family meal over at his parents and I got to hug and see his dad. We had a great day today.

Now we are off to be and if there is any luck :):):) there will be more relearning or riding that bike!!!

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!

I leave for England today!!!!! In the last 36 hours I have only slept 3 hours---excited? moi?! LOL

I went yesterday to get my hair colored and cut...I really like it when I have it put up in the french twist with the ends doing a multi-colored pom-pom thing...but it looks quite similar to how I had my color before. Dark brown around the bottom and blonde on top, and my bangs are mostly the brown with a little blonde. I'll get used to it, I hope...if not it will all go the dark mahogany. M, I hope you like it.

Bags packed--check
plane tix--check
passport--check
ID's in various forms-- check
Pictures of the kids--check
drawings from the kids--check
M's dragon necklace--I am wearing it
traveling $$--check
now it is just waiting and hoping that the storms around here blow over and my plane can take off on or near time...

Woot!!!!

Next time I write I will be in Jolly ol' England! ( I hope!)

Even Better News!

Today I got notice that the USCIS has gotten another bit of info needed and that according to their processing dates--we may only have 50 or less days to wait until he is approved!!! Woot!

Oh, and yeah, M has 2 PCs and he will surely let me use them and blog all my great adventures in the UK.

Woo hoo! I leave in a day!

I just hope that I don't arrive there with my skin peeling...I spent almost the entire day at the pool swimming with my kids since it will be the last full day that we can spend at the pool. Tomorrow I will be getting my hair colored and cut. So no chlorine for my hair, and no swimming with the fish, I mean, kids. (I will miss that with the kids while I am gone, as we spent most of this summer in the pool. Oh Goodness, and there was a sharp pang of momma guilt of leaving my kids for a month, the first of many i am sure) then I need to pack. and pack for my kids for when they go off to stay with their dad--Grandma and Grandpa providing the transportation--Thank you Mom and Dad! Busy busy day tomorrow, but MW is here to spend some time and she willbe a great help I am sure. MW has had a good time so far, and has Chatted with MS and he said that he missed her, so a little time away might repair things---we can only hope...

Anyway, I must stop rambling and get some sleep for the busy busy day!!!

the good news

I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!!I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!!

I will be landing in the UK on the 27th at 0655 GMT or that is 12:55am Central standard USA, 1:55am for my florida reader, and 11:55pm on the 26th for my Utah reader.

I miss M sooooo much. I can't wait to see him, and hold him and kiss him and other fun adult activities :)

I will get to spend just over 27 days with him, and he has some touristy things planned. However, I do have to be kind of sad because I really wanted to go to London, via one of those 200 mph bullet trains. Then spend 2 days there, playing, and I want to go to the Whitechaple area where Jack the Ripper did his ripperings---I am so morbid, but I am ABSOLUTELY facinated by it. Have a Pint at the Ten Bells, make myself go across Tower Bridge, and listen to Big Ben clang away. Problem---his babies--Bubble and Baby---his two cats. Apparently there are no reasonably priced kittie hotels near him, and his mother won't look after them for two days as they would have to stay at his flat, and she would have to come over once a day and feed and water them. She doesn't think that it is fair to the cats to be left alone for 2 days....I differ with that opinion as cats are very independent creatures and can survive very well when let to their own devices. So no London...this is the only chance that we would honestly ever get to go to London, as the next time that we go back to the UK, we will have the kids and we will be wanting to spend time with grandpa and grandma, not taking long trips around, lugging kids, bags, toys, and the rest of the "things" that my children just "can't" travel without. That sounds like no fun at all. *sigh*

I do hope that since they are legal over in the UK, that I get to smoke another Cuban cigar, and I really really want to try the Impressionists' drink of choice--Absinthe!

M has plans to go to a place in his city that sells lots of jewelry, and we can pick out our rings. I really would like a small, inexpensive silver ring, perhaps done in a Celtic knot. M likes big chunky man rings....I wonder how we will find a set??

What I am really wishing is that or Visa petition gets approved whilst I am over there, we go to London for his interview and I go into the interview with him and pipe up in my American midwestern twang and say that yes sirree bob, i luv 'em and I want to get hitched to that fine young feller sat down right there next ta me. Just as added proof that yes indeed we are getting married for love :) he can have his medical, we get the ok from the Brits and we manage to get it together enough, get the mover set up, the cat mover set up, pack up and he flies back home with me. *sigh* however we couldn't get married right away because we have to wait for him to get a SSN. That would be in September....out of all of the months in the year, that is the one we won't get married in...even if all it is just quick I do's for the legal wedding...September is out. I like September, my daughter was born in September. M was married in Sept and 2 years and a few days later his divorce was finalized. so September won't work. However I will be exstatic to have him here with me :)

I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England!

I am going to have some proper tea and scones, or tea and crumpets. Oo and fish and chips from a proper chippie, with a pint of English beer. Oh and a kebab--mmmm kebabs! I am going to be riding on double decker busses again, on the wrong side of the road. I'll be going round 187848913465981347 roundabouts and traffic calmers and zebra humped crossings. Listening to the sounds of daily English life in their different English accents--I like the posh sounding accents, but i am partial to Brummy. I get to see his parents again----Ooo i really really like my soon-to-be in-laws--Woo Hoo!

.....now i just need to finish packing :)

the bad news

my good friends MS and MW are breaking up. They have been together for 8 years and lived together for 7. He is through, he doesn't love her anymore and he told her that there is no fixing it. She is in a world of shock and pain, as they did everything together. Their dreams of graduating from college and moving to Florida and work at the Mouse House in Orlando are perhaps no more. for nearly 7 years they have been working towards this goal.

I am shock and stunned myself. I am friends with both and I feel torn. I hate that this is happening and I hate that my friends are hurting.

I wish that i had a magic wand and *POOF* make everything all better. But I can't, so I'll be the best of a friend to both that i can be.

Brit Shalom- A Covenant of Peace

The following is not my writings, but a very eloquently written post copy and pasted with permission from Leigh at a parenting board that i frequent. Thank you Leigh for your insight and knowledge:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi all... I am 33 yo old mom to 13 yo Zachary and 16 mo Julian. I was raised in a very traditional Jewish family- I attended hebrew day school, hebrew high, had a bat mitzvah, went to synagogue every Saturday, celebrated Shabbat every Friday..... so, when I had my first son, I didn't consider NOT circumcising him and had a brit milah in which he was circumcised.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I prayed that I would have a girl because I knew that I would NOT circumcise this child and didn't want to deal with the issue of circumcision with my family. Needless to say, I had a boy. I am at a point in my life where I strongly reject any organized religion but embrace god/goddess/spirit/humanity. My parents, however, are very traditional and feel very strongly about the "tradition" of circumcision. My dad sat down with me and explained, in great detail, how important circumcision was to him, and why he felt it played such an important role in Judaism. In response to that conversation, I did a lot of research and prepared the following presentation for him, called Brit Shalom, or Covenant of Peace. I am very happy to say that I am so PROUD of how well my dad responded, how he respected me and my decision, and especially that he held my son in his Talis during Julian's Welcoming Ceremony, in which he was NOT circumcised. I love you dad



BRIT SHALOM
A Covenant of Peace

According to Jewish law (halakha):
ANY BOY BORN TO A JEWISH MOTHER IS A JEW. IN NO BRANCH OF JUDAISM IS A CHILD REQUIRED TO BE CIRCUMCISED TO BE JEWISH. HE IS JEWISH BY THE FACT THAT HE IS BORN TO A JEWISH MOTHER.

Most Jews never question circumcision and believe it is anti-Semitic to do so. Judaism is, however, a religion of questioning. It is not similar to Christianity where the epitome of faith is blind faith without questioning.

Gil Mann, a Jewish Columnist comments:
“Questions about faith are not unique. They are very Jewish. For thousands of years, Jews have struggled with many of the same questions. Questioning about God is very much part of our tradition. We’re called People of Israel. The word Israel in Hebrew means wrestler or struggler with God. So if you struggle with questions about God, you’re living up to your namesake.”


A Jewish prayer book, Gates of Prayer, contains a meditation called “Doubt”.
“Cherish your doubts, for doubt is the handmaiden of truth. Doubt is the key to the door of knowledge. It is the servant of discovery. A belief which may not be questioned binds us to error, for there is incompleteness and imperfection in every belief. Doubt is the touchstone of truth. It is an acid which eats away the false… Those who would silence doubt are filled with fear. The house of their spirit is built on shifting sands. But they that fear not doubt, and know its use, are founded on a rock. They shall walk in the light of growing knowledge. The work of their hands shall endure. Therefore, let us not fear doubt, but let us rejoice in its help; it is to the wise as a staff is to the blind. Doubt is the handmaiden of truth.”

Many parents insist on the Brit Mila because it is commanded in the Torah. However, they overlook many other laws that were commanded as well. The 613 mitzvot contain many regarding animal sacrifice which is no longer practiced today. There are also the mitzvot against imprinting any marks on one’s body or making cutting in one’s flesh. Cutting off part of a baby’s genitals flies in the face of these mitvot.


Exodus and Leviticus both set forth harsh laws as well, many which have been abandoned.

• He who strikes his mother or father shall be put to death (Exodus 21:15)

• He who insults his father or his mother shall be put to death (Exodus 21:17)

• If a man commits adultery with a married woman, committing adultery with another man’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death (Leviticus 20:10)

Other examples which are expected to be followed meticulously include:

• Once a tree is planted, its fruit must not be eaten for 5 years (Leviticus 19:23)

• You shall not put on a cloth from a mixture of 2 kinds of materials (Leviticus 19:19)


Leviticus 18:19 demands “Do not come near a woman during her period of uncleanliness to uncover her nakedness. Leviticus 20:18 states “If a man lies with a woman in her infirmity and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow and she has exposed her blood flow; both of them shall be cut off from among their people.”

Many of these laws have been disregarded by contemporary Jews. Typically, only Orthodox Jews follow laws regarding menstrual purity, which, like brit milah, are commanded in the 613 mitzvot. In fact, Unlike the Sabbath and kashrut, the laws of family purity are virtually unknown to non-Orthodox Jews. It is, however, important to note the similarity between the consequences of both not circumcising and having intercourse with a menstruating woman. One who fails to circumcise the flesh of his skin “shall be cut off from his kin” where as one comes in contact with menstrual blood as well as the menstruating woman “shall be cut off from among their people.” Whereas the family purity laws have been abandoned by the majority of Jews, the circumcision law, however, has not even though their consequences are extremely similar.


While many circumcise because it is commanded in the Torah, the procedure they are doing is not actually biblical. Jewish babies today do not undergo the same procedure Abraham & Jacob did. Originally, only the small piece of foreskin that hung over the glands was cut which actually left the majority of the foreskin intact.

Rabbis sought to prevent Jews from hiding their circumcisions and therefore their Jewish identity by drastically altering the required procedure for brit milah.

In about 140 CE, Jewish law was altered so that radical circumcisions called Periah must be performed. Periah consists of the complete stripping and shearing of the foreskin. While many turn to the Torah as proof that the brit is required, the brit that is performed today is not the same as what God required of Abraham. Prior to 140 CE, circumcision was much milder and only removed a sliver of the foreskin. Metzitzah- sucking the baby’s blood from the wound- was a long standing and essential part of the ceremony until about the end of the 19th century.

In Genesis, circumcision is referred to as “the covenant between me and you and your offspring to follow which you shall keep.” However, a covenant is a mutual pledge, which an 8 day old infant is too young to understand. Therefore, by entering a child into that covenant they are taking away the child’s free will, and he is not allowed to decide for himself how to act.

“The Jewish view is that humans have the free moral will to choose the Good and this free moral will can be more powerful than the evil inclination. Indeed, Jewish ethics required the idea than humans decide for themselves how to act (“The Difference Between Judaism & Christianity”).

Advocating Circumcision Today (ACT), a Jewish organization states “another form of sacrifice by circumcision is the self-sacrifice involved. Many mitzvoth require sacrifice, sometimes even fasting and abstinence from food and drink. The greatest sacrifice, however, is that of a part of the body.” The brit milah, however, is not a self sacrifice.

Two of the greatest strengths of Judaism are its rationality and its commitment to learning and scholarship. Another is the tradition of gemilut Chasidim, acts of loving kindness, and the prohibition of deliberately causing pain.

This concept of sacrifice is in opposition with the Torah. Jewish law also forbids causing Tsa’ar Ba’alei Chaim, or pain in living things. However, circumcision is very painful. A sop of wine or even modern anesthesia during the operation is no solution to the pain problem. The wound continues to sting whenever urine enters it until it heals- 10 to 14 days later.


Gil Man writes “A bris is the oldest ritual in Judaism. For countless generations, our people have followed this tradition and wouldn’t want to be the person to break the chain. However, Judaism advocates an attempt to repair the world, tikun olam, which is a central purpose of Judaism. Much of the pain in the world is a result of repeating old harmful patterns of behavior by breaking a chain of pain; foregoing circumcision contributes to our healing. As we heal from our pain, we will be better able to reach our ethical and spiritual potential. Certainly tradition keeps Judaism alive but so does inquiry, dialogue, and well thought out alteration.”

Even in Israel there are Jewish organizations that oppose brit milah. One non-profit organization in Israel working to stop circumcision took its case to the High Court of Justice in 1998 and maintained in its petition that “in a modern democratic society there is no place for the barbaric ceremony which mauls a child who does not have any say in the matter”. The movement is largely made up of Reform parents, but it is visible in other areas as well. Moshe Rothenberg is a Conservative Jew living in an observant Jewish community in Brooklyn, yet he did not circumcise his son. The Af-milah newsletter is an Israeli newsletter dedicated to ending brit milah. Those who question and refuse to have a brit milah aren’t doing it because they have assimilated or because they are anti-Semitic, but feel this way after careful study of Jewish texts and observances.

Whether or not it conflicts with other Jewish principles, circumcision is still considered a quintessential Jewish act, a symbol of the covenant between God and the Jewish people and a primary emblem of Jewish identity. Questioning circumcision, however, is also a Jewish tradition. Thus, a decision not to circumcise an infant, but to observe the covenant through a symbolic ceremony instead of a traditional one, can also be a Jewish decision which follows with traditional Judaism. Parents who refuse are not merely disregarding a Jewish tradition, but are embracing the Jewish tradition of questioning and understanding.

Circumcision is a poor way to introduce a newborn male into the world and into the Jewish community. In addition, it completely excludes females from participating in a sacred ritual (thank God). From the start it relegates females as being less important than males as historically there has been no equivalent ceremony to welcome newborn Jewish female babies. That Judaism is a very patriarchal religion is no secret and that little boys are given such prominence in Jewish life and ritual is not surprising. For Jewish feminists, a brit milah is a girl’s first major experience of exclusion. The exclusion continues: women are often excluded from meaningful participation in religious life. Women may be called “Queen” or may be put on a pedestal but an Orthodox man still thanks God every morning for not having been created a woman.

Circumcision cannot be claimed as a symbol of Jewish identity. By Jewish law, any child born to a Jewish mother is a Jew. Furthermore, Judaism did not invent circumcision. According to anthropologists, the practice was well established in Egypt over 6,000 years ago. Muslims also circumcise and 60% of non-Jews in the U.S. are circumcised. Therefore, how can circumcision be claimed as either the source of Jewish identity or of its strength?

Many people invoke the power of “tradition”. Yet no-one would deny that some traditions, such as slavery, segregation, and female circumcisions are bad traditions that should be changed.


“A voice from heaven should be ignored if it is not on the side of justice”
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

One might reasonably ask why it is that the vast majority of Jews who show no particular attachment to the details of the Jewish covenant so tenaciously defend this particular commandment. Many committed Jews, especially women who feel that they have been left out of meaningful participation of religious life, are creating new rituals and adding to, subtracting from, or enriching existing ones.

Many parents are seeking an alternative to circumcision while still welcoming him into the covenant of Abraham. Several alternative bris ceremonies have been created which fulfill the spiritual and communal obligations without its traumatic effects. These ceremonies lovingly welcome a Jewish boy into the community while maintaining his bodily integrity and his human rights.

Norm Cohen, director of NOCIRC, has written an alternative bris ceremony to use which holds very closely to the traditional ceremony. “We’re working within the Jewish faith and the concepts of Judaism to make it more humane.”

Some Jews may question alternative rituals, but according to Rabbi Eugene Cohen, 80% of American Jewish circumcisions already do not meet the ritual standards. In addition, the religious ritual should be performed with the “appropriate mindset”. But this cannot be forced. Many Jews circumcise their sons with great emotional conflict, reluctance and regret. “The alternative ritual allows for congruence of intention, attitude, action and feeling.”

In the name of Ahavat Yisrael- love of Jews, love of all people, love of God- we must not do anything hurtful to another human being, including and especially our children. It is essential to evaluate an idea not solely based on its conformity with the Torah, but also in light of its agreement with reason and experience. I raise questions about Jewish circumcision with the understanding that these questions and doubts can cause feelings of grief. I respect these feelings and acknowledge the profound place that circumcision has in Jewish tradition. However, I am compelled to break the silence that supports circumcision and raise these questions out of deep caring and compassion for my son.



Sources:
• “Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective” by Ronald Goldman
• The Kindest Uncut” by Michael S. Kimmel
• The Israeli Association Against Brit Milah
• “A Delicate Ritual” by Blair Pollock
• Jewsagainstcircumcision.org
• “Ending Circumcision in the Jewish Community” by Moshe Rothenberg
• “The Jewish Roots of Anti-Circumcision Arguments” by Lisa Bramer Moss
• “The Joy of Brit Shalom” by Brandy Sinco
• “Redefining the Sacred” by Miriam Pollock


BRIS SHALOM
Welcoming Covenant

Introductory Blessing & Prayers

Candle lighting
Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam borei mo’rei ha-eish
Let us bless the Source of All, who creates the illuminations of the flame

Parent There is a new light in our hearts and in our home. These candles celebrate the birth of our child. These candles celebrate his emergence into light.

Kiddush Baruch kol khai olam
Precious is every living thing in the world

B’ru-kheem ha-kha-yeem ba-adam
Precious is the life of humankind

Blessings In every birth, blessed is the wonder
In every creation, blessed is the new beginning
In every child, blessed is life
In every hope, blessed is the potential
In every transition, blessed is the beginning
In every existence, blessed are the possibilities
In every love, blessed are the tears
In every life, blessed is the love

Parent With each child the world begins anew. By this ceremony, we formally welcome you to our world and our family. As we name you today, we undertake our traditional responsibilities as your parents to take you forward into the world as we know it, to love you, to guide you, to educate you, and to cherish you.

Reader We dedicate you to Chuppah- to never ending growth as a human being, capable of giving and receiving love. With loving family and friends, you will never be alone.

Reader We dedicate you to Ma-asim tovim- to a never-ending concern for family and community, justice and charity. While you care for others, you will never be alone.

Reader As you begin your journey through life, we pray that you will find sustenance in ma-yim cha-yim, the living waters which Judaism offers to all who draw from the well of this tradition. May we learn and grow in these traditions together.

Speaker We are gathered here today following a century which has given us profound and unprecedented insight into our humanity, in which we have learned that each of us is fully human from the moment we are born, able to feel and able to remember all the richness of each and every moment’s experience.

But this century has also given cruelty of unprecedented proportion. Given both the insight and the brutality of our century, we are inevitably led to conclude that there must be no more bloodshed in God’s name. We continue where Abraham left off: We shall do the child no harm.

Parent Here we are, ready to enter our child into the covenant with history, in the tradition of the many peoples he was born into and will be raised and nurtured by.

We thank God for the birth of this beautiful child into the world and into this family. We offer ourselves this day as caretakers of his spirit and his higher mind. May we fulfill with strength our role and may the spirit of this family, from generations past and into the future, burst forth to bless and sustain this child.

Speaker Baruch ha-ba b’shem Afonia- Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

All Baruch ha-ba
Blessed is the newborn

Reader Blessed is the Universe which makes children whole and beloved as their birthright, which keeps the laws of the world in their flesh, and seals our offspring with the mark of holy promise.

Parent In celebrating this child, we celebrate ourselves and our communities. We thank you God for the birth of our son. We dedicate his life to You, that he may grow in love to become a man strong and wise. May we be the father and mother that You would have us be. Give us patience and wisdom. May our home be blessed and guided by Your will. Thank You for Your faith in us that such a glorious child has been placed in our hands. May he learn from us happiness; may he learn from You everything.

Speaker And now, to you, the parents, I say on behalf of all of us, your prayers are our prayers, that you might have a home that is full of love for you and your children. May he grow to reflect the best in both of you and extend unto the world he touches the love he receives from his mother and father.

Hine Ma-Tov

Speaker Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam asher kidushanu b’mittzvotav v’tzi-vanu al ha brit
Blessed it is that we are made holy with commandments and are charged concerning the covenant

Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam asher kidushanu b’mittzvotav v’tzi-vanu l’hak –niso b’vrito shel Sara v’Avraham
Blessed art Thou, Great Spirit of the Universe, who has commanded us to welcome our son into the covenant of Sarah and Abraham and into the human family

Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam she-heh-cheyanu, v’kiy-manu v’higiyanu lazman ha-zeh
Blessed are you, our Source, light of the Universe, who has given us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season

K-sheym she-nlchnas la-brit, keyn yi-kahnes la-Torah la-Chupah u-l’mah’asim tovim.
As this child enters the Covenant and the community, so may he enter the ways of wisdom, the canopy of love and the doing of good works

Baruch ata Adonai , Elohaynu melech ha-olam bo ray p’ri hagafrn
Blessed art Thou, O Lord Our God, who creates the fruit of the vine.

(Parents sip and then places drop of wine on baby’s lips)

Parents As we prepare to give you your name, we wrap you in this tallit. Praise be the powers of the Universe, which have honored us by sending this child to bless our home and family. We in turn honor this child by bestowing on him the name of :

Name of child
Explanation of names

We have chosen _________ as your Hebrew name in remembrance of ___________. May you always be beloved by your family, be brave as you face the wonders of the world, and be able to spread your wings like a bird to pursue your dreams.

Speaker Lord of all creation, we thank Thee for this child, created in thine image; whole, complete and perfect. We have welcomed him into Thy covenant of peace. Bestow upon him Thy watchful care that he may grow and flourish in the life which Thou hast given. Be Thou with his loving parents and all his family. Grant them all strength and health and length of days. Uphold them in kindness and crown them with Thy favor.

May the Lord bless you and keep you
May his countenance shine upon you and be gracious upon you
May the Lord turn His face upon you and grant you peace

All Amen

Speaker We make a toast with the traditional Kiddush and before we proceed to break bread together, may I invite all who care to, to extend their good wishes to this child.

S’udat Mitzvah, the Celebratory Meal

Blessing over the bread
Baruch ata Adonai, Ehloheinu melech ha-olam, ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz
Let us bless the Source of All, who provides us with the staff of life

phobia

I have a fear of bridges and it actually has a name-- gephyrophobia
http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12355 and the following short blurb is sooooo me.

"Fear of bridges: An abnormal and persistent fear of bridges, especially crossing bridges. Sufferers of this phobia experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. Their fear may result partly from the fear of enclosure (claustrophobia) or the fear of heights (acrophobia). Phobic drivers may worry about being in an accident in busy traffic or losing control of their vehicles. High bridges over waterways and gorges can be especially intimidating, as can be very long or very narrow bridges....."

I am ok with driving over and under regular overpasses on interstate roads..as long as they don't curve at all. But wooden country bridges around here give me the heebie jeebies something fierce. As do old bridges,yuck! I hold my breath over them and actually try to squish my legs together and my arms into my body as much as I can. Any bridge that will take longer than 2 seconds to cross will start to give me an anxiety attack...............however, *knock on wood* I am an excellent driver and have never been in an accident, and driving in heavy traffic, including Semi-trucks does not bother me at all....just those damn bridges. Driving through Cedar Rapids IA is a doosy for me as the entire interstate through town is curved bridges. As long as i don't see any accidents, and stay in the middle lane, as it is no where near the guard-rail, I am nervously ok.

So, Estelle, If M and the kids ever come and visit, the journey will be planned with crossing the least bridges as possible. And the Sunshine Skyway Bridge will have to be avoided at all costs EEK! Are there ferries there?

I used to cross a toll bridge from Ia to MO that had a metalmesh road, not one bit of cement, and the tires would make a scary noise going across it. I was white knuckled and scared shitless! needless to say, I have a rerouted my drive and have very few creepy bridges to cross.

December 15, 1967, the Silver Bridge collapsed claiming 46 lives and injuring 9

These bridges are archtetually beautiful, but if I HAD to cross them, i would have to get out of the car and crawl across.


















...and would you look at that! there is road construction!!! narrowing the road even further!!! and narrowing my trachea even more!





How about that for a weird but true phobia?....now if I could find out if the fear of aging has a name.

After all of that---I am NOT afraid of airplanes or flying, at all, in fact it is fun and exciting for me...eh, go figure...my brain is weird!

dun dun duhhhhhhhhh

at 8:40 am US central standard time I officailly turn 30....

I am turning off all phones and I am sleeping all day.

Age ain't nuthin' but a number....

Most of us have heard this dandy little old addage, right? Dear friends, I am having a very difficult time with this year's age. As you may recall, in a few days it is my birthday, and I am looking forwards to it like one would look forward to having novocane-free dental work done whilst systematically having all of one's toenails ripped out AT the same time. Even the weather forecast for my area reflects my mood, stormy and overcast. I feel like I should be going to a funeral.

I had a mini-birthday anxiety thing 5 years ago when I knew I only had five years left of being in my twenties, and that I was one quarter of a century. (my younger brother went through the same thing, perhaps this is heriditary???) In a few days, my twenties will be dead, poof, gone, just fading memories.

Good grief! I AM NOT MATURE ENOUGH YET TO BE IN MY 30'S...My brain says that i am still 18...just with the added responsibilities of being a parent chucked in there.

I set great store into birthdays and I think that out of all the days of the year, that one day, the day that you transitioned from the womb to dry land, should be YOUR day, your day to have attention and you be selfish, screw the diet, and if you are of legal age to have a good screw. Birthday should be spelled BirthMEday, in my book. And it MUST be celebrated ON your birth date and not the nearest weekend for convienience. This year, huh uhhh, somebody else can have it. I'll stay 29, thank-you-verra-much.

I was supposed to go on a 6 hour drive to go see, and "mini-vacation" at their home, some really good friends of mine. It has been at tradition that I spend my birthday with them, unless I am working, or, um, out of the country and spending it with M. Can't happen this year due to several factors. We all are bummed about it. Our little Mini-party before the Fourth of July party and picnic and fireworks.

So this year, I predict that I will get a lovely bunch of flowers and a card from the folks, we will go clean their church like we always do on Thursdays, and go out to eat like we always do on Thursdays. It will be rainy and horrible out so my kids can't play outside, and they'll be rotten little buggers. I will grow porcupine needles out my back, Sabre-tooth fangs, and the disposition of a badger or wolverine--i haven't decided which one yet--don't touch me, don't hug me, don't look at me....and I will cry, and cry most of the day.

I *know* that I am still young yet, but my white hairs both on my head and ...yes, and the newly found white pubic hairs, say that I am not.

So after reading my long winded pity party: (thank you for making it this far)

Did you ever have an unhappy birthday?
Did NOT want to be wished a happy birthday?
A specific age that you didn't want to turn?
Birthday anxiety?
......or am I a complete nutter and just need to be in a padded room?

I love the 80's

Final Score: 128


Your 80's Music Score

I HAD a great post for LGBT Families day, but blogger ate it!!!

Join
1 a : to put or bring together so as to form a unit b : to connect (as points) by a line c : ADJOIN
2 : to put or bring into close association or relationship
3 : to engage in (battle)
4 a : to come into the company of b : to associate oneself with
intransitive senses
1 a : to come together so as to be connected b : ADJOIN
2 : to come into close association or relationship: as a : to form an alliance b : to become a member of a group c : to take part in a collective activity


I say we substitute from now on "join" for the word "marriage" from now on.

Much love to all my LGBT friends out there and I hope that one day soon that all Joinings are legal.

Celebrating LGBT Family Love

June 1-- Blogging for LGBT Families Day**** the lost post is found!!!***

****WOOO HOOO What was lost, is now found! (and appearantly put in the proper order of posts. This post was really lost, honest, LOL******

In honor of Blogging for LGBT Families Day

I rarely get to show my pride since, well, I have no real life connections to events, so YAY, here is my little snippet for all those families that struggle with obtaining, or completely missing out, laws to legally unite, and protect families. I am bi, have fallen in love with a man, but we must wade through legalities in order to legally join since he is a UK citizen and we are trying to have him legally immigrate to the US.

Our plight is not exactly the same as the numerous lgbt families who are trying to have the same rights and privelidges as straights are given just by being born straight. (Sad states of affairs when a bad abusive straight parent has more rights than a loving non-bio lgbt parent has.) I would love it if my fiance' could adopt both of my kids, but their bio-dad would rather go to the dentist and then smash all of his computers before letting M adopt.

The US gov't takes a lot of the romance out of getting wed. M and I have decided that since the gov't has imposed a timeline on when M and I must legally wed, we are going to just go to a justice of the peace and just sign the document. Just another document and form in the long list of documents and forms. The REAL day will be the "Blessing Ceremony" where we will truely be joined in our hearts and souls forever (as if we aren't already)....and all of this is IF (cross fingers here) the USCIS sees fit to allow it.

I would love to see that someday where all the States get off their high holier than thou horses and allow ALL loving parents to be parents in all senses of the word parent. Could you just imagine the wonderful impact of all these loving arms to be able to open up for all the kids in foster care and those in need of adoption?!?

I remember a friend of mine lamenting how he and his husband would love to be parents some day, and they didn't care if the child was bio-related or not, but the State laws were totally against them. At that point in my life I was too self-centered to offer it, but as I have aged and matured, becoming a surrogate, after I am done with having my kids, is something that I'd dearly love to do.

Memorial day weekend is for lovers

40 years ago this weekend, my parents met at a kegger of all things. Mom was 16, Dad older by 5 years at 21, but he didn't know that, she was a cute red-head to him. He decided to write to her, she wrote back, and love between a sailor and an Iowa red-head ensued. They were married October 25th 1968, and are still happily married. They are cute together, but as customs dictate, i make a great "eww, parents don't kiss in front of their kids" show and pretend to be throughly discusted. (Shhh, don't tell them that, they like to "discust" me) Although there are times that they through me for a loop. Dad does that especially, like whoo hoo-ing the idea of toys, he and mom, and the backseat of their Volvo. Umm...yeah...Mom and Dad are uber-straightlaced Christian folk that live it as well as preach it. Dad once in a while "lets his hair down" but i digress.

I read over at one of my favorite blogs about Estelle's good friends' commitment ceremony. At the end of her post "so, they did it" she writes this and holy Niagra Falls Batman, this had me bawling---sheesh! STILL does!
"To Mrs(s) Amy and Kendra Kellogg, may your relationship be filled with as many blessings as you bestow upon others. I wish you nothing but happiness, health, great sex, cute kids, and a long life together."
Heck, I don't know them, but I wish them that too! *sighs and wipes tears away*

And then one of my good friends calls me today and she has this to say....Last week she caught her boyfriend setting a fire in their backyard grass. He had poured a circle of gasoline on the ground and lit it. He is one of those people that constantly are playing with camp fires and the burn pit in their back yard. She got after him and told him that was why they had the burn pit and that he could have just as well started a fire in that, rather than ruining the grass and almost starting himself on fire. Last night he pulled her in the back yard, and she smelled gas, but she knew that he was going to start a fire in the burnpit so they could sit by the fire. He lights the grass on fire with both of then in the circle of flames, gets down on his knee and asks "Will you be mine forever; will you be my wife?" He had planning it for this weekend as her eldest two and their shared one were all at the grandfolks' place for the weekend. What she say?..................

.........

..........

........

.......

.......

.......

..........

......

After about 5 minutes standing there saying nothing, mouth agape, in total shock and awe, because he isn't the "marry-ing sort", and he almost in tears because he thought that she was trying to find a nice way to say no............................

.....SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



.....now what would top this off weekend is if M and I get an email from our lawyers saying that we are approved by the USCIS and that my trip to see him in late July/early August will be to help him move rather than to visit............

Happy Memorial Day to all 2 of my blog readers :)

Childhood Memories

You know those little snippets of our childhood that we tuck away safely into our memory, the idyllic days where all thet you worried about was how late you could play outside, or how far down the sidewalk you could ride your bike before a parent came out to tell you that you went to far. I got to travel back in time last evening and relive one of those idyllic memories, with the help of my 5 year old daughter. The backyard isn't the same as in my youth, but the smells sounds and feel was about what it was like about 21-24 years ago.

The day had been hot, and we played at the city park until sunset, when the air starts to cool. We took off our sandals and walked barefooted in the thick cool freshly mown grass. she played on some equiptment that was much like what I played on as a child. I dug my toes in the hot dry sand, and as i dug deeper, it cooled and became damp. There was a little legue baseball game going on at the other side of the park, and the sound of the *THWAK* of a bat meeting the ball and the cheers from the parents in the stand sounded the same as from my youth.

It was getting dark and time to go home, and so we climbed into the van. When I was a kid, my dad would let me "drive" while sitting on his lap. this was of course before seatbelt laws. but since we were less than a block away from home, I let her "drive" we went no faster than 3 miles an hour and even got passed by some bikeriders.

Small town midwest life, where we give directions to get somewhere in town by relation to where it is from THEE only set of traffic lights. Where we don't lock our doors-ever because we know that the neighbors will watch over the house while we are gone. The gas stations are the place to hear the latest gossip as well as the best place to sell your old car/dishwasher/camper/sofa or give away puppies or kittens.

After my daughter had taken a bath and had supper, we went out into the backyard and chased fireflies. My daughter's giggles, bringing giggles of my own bubbling up, as we ran breathlessly around catching and releasing these bioluminescent creatures. it was a beautiful snippet of life that I know that I have filed away, and i hope that my daughter does too.

27 days

Now on our lawyer's site, there are new cases after M and my case. It feels rather comforting not to be the newbies anymore. Strange yeah, but oh well.

M and I have decided that I will be going over to the UK this August for about a 3 week visit. We haven't hugged or kissed each other in 6 1/2 months. Personally, I'd prefer it to be sooner, but he has 2 weeks off in Aug. So I search for cheap plane tix. Any one out there lurking have some good deals from Chicago to London about late July, early August to late August?

Future Mother-in-Law

I just got done chatting with my FMIL, and I have to say that I do have another mother! She mother-hen clucks over me like my own mother. That is fantastic, and I love her :)

*sigh* 20 and 24 *sigh*

Today, Saturday May 20th 2006, was the first date that M and I picked to be our wedding day...Oh well, there are plenty of other days to pick from.

Today is the 24th day that the USCIS has had our application papers........

Name Game

On to "wordy part deux"....

I like names. Not calling people names, although i was a rotten little kid and would call kids names to tease them. Particularly derrogatory rhyming names such as cryin' Brian (eh, i was a kid when Garbage Pail kids were cool and fun to trade)
My parents gave me a mundane name with a twist. In most part of the US, it is pronounced very much like it's sister spelling, but in Scandinavia, it is pronounced differently. The "air" becomes "are" for those of you who know my real name. My middle name--I guess my parents were bored, because they made one up. And in turn, I blessed my daughter with a made up middle name too. Perhaps she'll carry on the tradition. So, perhaps, since I was given these names, inspired my love for names.
*****Disclaimer*****these are my interpretations and are NOT ment to hurt anyone's feelings******

Here goes with the beautiful, mundane and the bad:

Beautiful
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twyla--twilight, beautiful pastels and clear almost cloudless sky
Celeste--celestal bodies, and the beauty of a starry night sky
Tatiana--A beautiful Russian lady in white faux furcoat
Isabella--A beautiful Italian lady
Victoria--a furtive lady that likes lace, satin, and silk
Alexander--a regal man, with Superman good looks
Crystal--rainbows being cast on a warm plush carpet as a prism of beautifully cut glass is gently swung infront of a brightly sunlit window
William--Shakespeare, and the lovely English town of Stratford-upon-Avon Yes, I HAVE been there :)





















Mundane
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michael--it is the most common name in the English speaking countries, everyone knows and likes or dislikes at least one Mike.
Megan--reminds me of the spice nutmeg
Dennis--Tennis
Mabel--Maple syrup
Jane--poor plain mundane Jane

Bad
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ashley--Ashes from the fireplace, or burning cigarette
Christopher--Chris's gopher?!?
John--the men's loo
Dick--uummmm, yeah, I think you know what i am thinking with this one
Cassie-- sea bass-y


Basically, Any name I can come up with a rhyme, phrase or decription of the name. Some are good, some are bad, and some, I am sorry, i come up with are ugly....

until next time folks, Adieu!

WORDY!!!!!

Chicory is an excellent wordsmith, and I love reading her entries. Her "what were we thinking" series is fun to see the progress of her and her wife's remodling of their house and kitchen. I mostly lurk and occationally post.

Today as I was lurking along, she had a post called "Spreading more smooshy blog love". The entire entry is great. What got me thinking today is actually not the giving props part, but actually her train of thought with the word blog and how it reminds her of the word bog and bog reminds her of Florida.

I am the same way, that there are words or even names that sound like something else, and plants a picture in my mind. Also there are words that I like saying and tasting their vowels and consonants, digraphs and diphthongs (did you know that a diphthong is a digraph, but not necessarily is a digraph always a diphthong. The word "diphthong" contains 3 digraphs, but no diphthongs, but i digress!)

See, there I go on word tangents.... The objective of this post was to tell all 2 of my readers my twisted take on the wordy English language.

Bioluminescence--this one is tied for my favorite word. This one doesn't remind me of other words, but rather it conjures a beautiful image in my mind. Fireflies flickering their green glow over a flower garden on a warm late spring/early summer's eve, just in that calm moment right after it turns dark. Green glittering stars brought from the heavens to sparkle on the fresh green grass, and the air is fresh and sweet.
Plethora--this is the other that is tied for first, and nicely enough, and be used very well in conjunction with bioluminescence. The plethora of bioluminescence found on my lawn reminded me of starry skies." Plethora os fun to say, but just as long as one does not have any fluid in one's mouth at that time, otherwise, one may spray a plethora of droplets on their listener!
Moist--This one is actually my bestfriend's favorite, because saying it is funny and conjures thoughts of what great foreplay should do to adults neither regions. So now saying that a cake is moist doesn't necessarily bring forth images of a chocolate baked confection that it's empty calories will go straight to my adipose tissue, rather taking chocolate syrup and pouring it on my lover's body and creating a yummy 'other' moist confection ;)
"Z"Zee-- (not Zed) my favorite letter, as I love the way my teeth and tongue buzz when I say it. My son's name starts with Z, and for a while I contemplated having my daughter's name to start with Z. It is fun to say, but it is underused in the proper English language, in my opinion, but is tacky when used in place of an "s" i.e. hugz. "S" is overused, and makes us sound like we are hissing all the time.
Quirky--because I am. Then it reminds me of quarks, those quirky quarks! But I am NO particle physicist; it boggles the mind!
Torsion--This is in regards to snails, and how torsion is part of their developmental stage going from larva to adult. Basically it is showing that Mother Nature has a sense of humor. The snails adult body is situated so that it poops on it's head!
"L"--My other favorite letter, and my daughter's first and middle name contains a total of 5 L's. My nickname happily contains my L and my Z. "Zee Elle makes me say Oo la la!" ok that was cheesy! LOL!
Giggle --makes me want to, and I giggle and laugh quite a bit. Giggle reminds me of jiggle, and when I giggle too much, i truely jiggle!
Alright--lovingly overly accented when talking to my English fiance'. He never accents it as thickly as I do, unless he is copying me :) I say it like this, "ohh-roy-t"...he graciously lets me murder the British accent. I just love the way old words taste brand new with a different accent.
Garage-- Old word made new to me through my Love's accent. My american midwest accent has me pronouncing it "Guh-rahhj" His is more like "Gair-haj" almost like it rhymes with 'carriage'
Bloke--Means a guy, a man, a dude. Bloke rhymes with poke. Poke a bloke? like sticking your finger in the Pilsbury Doughboy's navel?!? Then if you say poke a bloke fast enough it turns into "polka bloke" And my imagination goes to the tuba player, wearing traditional Germanic garb, at an Oktoberfest, then pans out to show heavily ladened tables, surrounded by rosy cheeked people, clinking their beer steins and singing "Roll out the Barrel" Since I was a tuba player, the melody, and the bass part that i used to play is now stuck in my head, and just because of some bloke!

Names also have the same effect--but that is for another wordy post!

Have I Ever Mentioned that my Favorite Color is GREEN

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Happy Mother's Day!

These answers were given by second graders to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1.She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.Mostly to clean the house.
3.To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1.He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2.Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.God made my Mom just the same like He made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1.God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2.They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your Mom and not some other mom?
1.Because we're related.
2.God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1.My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1.His last name.
2.She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3.Does he make as least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1.My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2.She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1.Mom dosen't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.
2.Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3.I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1.Moms work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
2.Mom knows how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1.Mothers don't do spare time.
2.To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1.On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2.Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1.She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2.I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

And that is Why God made Moms! Happy Mother's Day!

2 weeks

We are now at 2 weeks that the USCIS has had our paperwork. The following is great and taken verbatim from our lawyer's site.

" This feature of our proprietary program is the least understood by clients before filing their K-1, and the most appreciated after filing. It is completely unique among immigration law firms. To understand the feature, a little background is in order. When the USCIS receives an application, the basic data is entered into a computer, a receipt number and notice to the attorney is sent, and then the case is placed in a waiting room with hundreds or even thousands of other similar petitions waiting to be moved to an examiners desk (the examiner needs only about 10 minutes to review the case). Waiting times change over time because backlogs occur and also because K-1 examiners periodically get pulled off K-1 cases for "special projects". The USCIS does, however, periodically state the date of the most recently reviewed case. It's available on their web site. The problem with this published date arises from the fact that the USCIS pulls cases from the waiting rooms in a more or less random manner, which can make the I-129F "current date" misleading by weeks or worse. Your case may have been submitted on April 1, but the USCIS happened to pull a case that arrived in the room much sooner or later than your case. So, trends must be monitored. We do this by showing our clients all our clients' wait times (anonymously, of course) so that you can watch these very important trends and obtain far better information for predicting when your individual petition should be approved. Our clients love it!"

That really explains how the USCIS works :D

what comes around, goes around

Today, i received, via snail mail, a thank you card and a wonderful hand made little green wooden box with a great vintage-type Spumanti Martini picture on the top. This was from a woman in Illinois to whom I had sent an Avent Isis breastpump. It is an awesome thank you!

My Breastfeeding advocacy pays off in fun and unique ways now!

'Tis pleased pleased pleased that I am!

wedding plans

M and I have decided since this whole immigration thing and all the laws that go with it has sucked the romance out(he has to get married with-in 90 days of landing in the States, or he has to go back to the UK) that we are going to go to the Justice of the Peace as soon as he gets his SSN. We will do this to take the legal pressures off of us so we can plan our Blessing Ceremony. We can put all of the romance into that, and I can have my ivory brocade Tudor-style wedding dress. I still think that it would be awesome if M and his best man wore kilts, but that remains to be seen.

We are going to have the ceremony at my grandparents' little country church that is up in the northwest part of Iowa. My parents were married there, and they are married 37 years later, so it seems like good luck to me. I would like the decorations to basically be live and silk English ivy. Even before I met M, I loved English ivy, but now it means more to me since I am marrying an Englishman.

The reception, i would like people to bring pot-luck food rather than gifts. Most people will have several hours travel just to get there, and with gas prices as they are, it will be a gift to M and I that they could make it. The church has a kitchen, so if anything needs to be prepared there, it can be.

The dance is where we really get a taste of "Red-necks getting down on the farm" Of course this is only available to do in warmer weather. My grandparents offered to let us use the "hogshed" to have the dance. The "hogshed" hasn't had hogs in it in the last 30 years, but the cinderblock building makes an excellent shelter and large enough area to have the kids and adults dance and play. Here is the real red-neck part: we are going to move my 1964 Ford Galaxie 500 sedan from the barn to the hogshed. We'll clean it up and install an inexpensive but loud enough car stereo system and set it up so that M can hook up his laptop and VIOLA! instant DJ!

Another thing that M and I have agreed upon quite early, that this event will be alcohol free. We'll substitute sparkling juice for champagne so that the many children that will be there can have some too. The couple of friends that are recovering alcoholics won't feel any temptation, but most of all, no one will have to deal with drunken idiots. Now, once the dance is over and all of us go to our hotel rooms, then the adults can drink whatever. Mainly I am worried about safety for all, and to make all of it kid friendly as possible, because about half the people there will be children.

Then Sunday, I would like a brunch where all the wedding guests that stayed around can come and we all can just sit, eat, laugh, and be merry. I like to spend time with my friends, and who knows when there will be another opportunity to have them all together at the same time? Then that sunday evening, M and I can go off to our honeymoon, as I am sure that people will want to start travelling back to their homes.

Whew! I got windy, lol!

8 is Great

day 8, 8 days closer to have my great love here. 8, O how I love thee.

7

Seven wonderful glorious days, that the USCIS has had our petition! I just got an email from our lawyers stating that they recieved confirmation notice that the USCIS has our Petition and has had it for 7 days already! 7 days already down in a 90-120 day wait! One week done, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!

I am so fricking pleased beyond words!

7, I love you

Gay fairy tale sparks outrage

Copied and Pasted from here
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18923274-23109,00.html


Gay fairy tale sparks outrage
From: Reuters
By Jason Szep in Lexington, Massachusetts

April 25, 2006


THE crown prince rejects a bevy of beautiful princesses, rebuffing each suitor until falling in love with a prince. The two marry, sealing the union with a kiss, and live happily ever after.
That fairy tale about gay marriage has sparked a civil rights debate in Massachusetts, the only US state where gays and lesbians can legally wed, after a teacher read the story to a classroom of seven year olds without warning parents first.

A parents' rights group said overnight it may sue the public school in the affluent suburb of Lexington, about 19 km west of Boston, where a teacher used the book King & King in a lesson about different types of weddings.

"It's just so heinous and objectionable that they would do this," said Brian Camenker, president of the Parents Rights Coalition, a conservative Massachusetts-based advocacy group.

Mr Camenker said he believes the school, Joseph Estabrook Elementary, broke a 1996 Massachusetts law requiring schools to notify parents of sex-education lessons. "There is no question in my mind that the law is being abused here," he said.

"I wouldn't be surprised if in the next couple of weeks there was some kind of (legal) action taken," he said.

Lexington Superintendent of Schools Paul Ash said the school was under no legal obligation to inform parents the book would be read to the classroom of about 20 children.

"This district is committed to teaching children about the world they live in. Seven-year-olds see gay people. They see them in the schools. They see them with their kids," he said.

"I see this as a civil rights issue. People who are gay have a right to be treated equally," he said.

"If it were North Carolina, this would be a whole different story. But the law in Massachusetts is that gay marriage is legal. We have lots of gay families in Lexington."

The issue erupted in Lexington when parent Robin Wirthlin complained to the school's principle after her 7-year-old son told her about the reading last month. She then turned to the Parents Rights Coalition, which released a statement on the issue to Boston media last week.

Since then, Mr Ash has been swamped by e-mails on the issue from across the country, some in support but many written in anger including one from a North Carolina man who threatened "to beat his head into the ground", he said.

"I handed that one to the police," said Mr Ash.

The issue underscores a growing cultural divide over the issue of gay rights at a time when legal challenges seeking permission for gays and lesbians to marry are pending in 10 states. Two US states have legalised civil unions.

It also comes as California considers introducing school textbooks highlighting the role of gays in its history.

Some legal scholars said the depth of emotion on the issue nationwide means educators should include parents in the debate on exactly when to start educating children on homosexuality.

"There is a difference between what is required and what is the right thing to do," said Charles Haynes, senior scholar at the First Amendment Centre, which produces guidelines for schools and teachers on issues such as same-sex marriage.

"Some people believe that we are moving toward a kind of normalisation of homosexuality as part of the fabric of our life. Others believe we are going in the other direction. Because we are now in a fork in the road where we are debating this, public schools are not the place to settle it," he said.

King & King was ranked eighth among the top 10 books people wanted removed from libraries in 2004, according to the American Library Association. Its Berkeley, California publisher, Tricycle Press, said complaints over the 32-page book first surfaced in 2004 in North Carolina.

An Oklahoma legislator last year cited the book as reason to impose new restrictions on library collections.

Written by two Dutch women, the book has sold about 15,000 copies in the US since it was translated and published in 2002. A sequel, King, King and Family, about a royal same-sex family written by the same authors, was published two years later.
______________________________________________________________

I think that this is a censorship, and a violation of civil rights. It is LEGAL for same sex couples to marry in that state, yet these parents want to turn a blind eye that this is an everyday thing in their children's lives...hell chances are that some of these kids will grow up to utilize the same sex marriage laws. I betcha these militant anti-gay parents never though of that.

Yes, I still have some "traditional" ways brainwashed into me that i am despiratly trying to shake, so honestly if my kids were to out themselves to me, i would think about ever having grandkids and the same "trad" BS that tends to go through "trad" thinkers. But my kids are my kids and I love them no matter what. Besides who am i to judge, I am bi-sexual.

Somedays i DO struggle with my sexuality. Somedays i feel more lesbian, and other days i feel more hetero. There never is a real 50/50 balance. I am engaged to a wonderful man, but if M were to have been a woman, the love i feel for M would be the same. (The major difference is that we would be working on me moving to the UK.) There are times when i wonder how life would be like if my ex-gf and i had stayed together, and yes i do miss her and her friendship.

but anyway, this "outrage" is a bunch of BULLSHIT in my opinion and these outraged parents can stick their outrage right up their fucking outrages!