Any of you who have watched "What About Bob?" know what kind of baby-steps i am talking about. Well my baby-steps involve the saga to get a fiance' visa for my wonderful sweet loveable i could go on for days great fiance'. Today my mother and co-sponsor for my fiance', got a form from the gov't so we can send it back to the gov't. Yeah it makes my head spin too. Now i have to figure out the blasted CD picture making program so i can bring in the CD to Wal-Greens and get pics of M and I together.
After all that, we send in to our immigration lawyers, they prepare our paperwork, send it in to the gov't, the gov't processes it and does what ever it does with it, and then M must have a medical exam and an interview at the US embassy in his country. Then if we pass all those steps, he gets issued a Visa and comes here. We need to get married with in 90 days of him arriving here. Boy, I tell you, After all of this, i am really ready just to go to a Justice of the Peace the day that he arrives just to ensure that he can't be taken away from me ever again. After the legal wedding, then we can have a blessing at my grandparents church, and dance afterwards.
I don't know, this whole drawn out process has both of us frustrated, but we both know that we just want to be with each other-forever. We will muddle through this and it will make us stronger, but Damnit! i want him here now. *sigh*
so, today one more baby step is done---on to the next.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
These Baby-Steps are killing me!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
O Gawd, i am addicted to these things!
| You're an Expert Kisser |
 You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable |
For You, My Darling M
| How You Are In Love |
 You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
Monday, March 20, 2006
looks like we won
looks like the debate has died down and it looks like the intactivists have won this round!!!
other notes..my neck still hurts, and i slept A LOT today. And it is about time that i go back to sleep.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Do baby boys "feel" the circumcision procedure?
that was a question asked at a mainstream board that i am at. Here's more:
Original poster:
This will be my first boy. My DH and I both agree to have him circumcised.
What do they do? How do they numb it? DO THEY numb it? Do they cry? I am scared!
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Poster 1:
Here - you can watch one being done. video
At least that way you know the standard procedure and can ask your doctor more informed questions.
eta: For those who are unsure, this is a video of a circumcision being done. That means it is graphic and you will see the whole procedure.
YES!!
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Poster 2:
Let me just say, not all circumcisions are like that.
But regardless of whether or not he is crying or screaming, why in God's name would you subject a baby to any procedure of that sort? Why do people feel the need to have their son's skin sheerd from his genitals so that he looks more familiar?
http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/ is a website which links you to the official standpoint of American, English, Austrailian, Canadian and other Medical Organisations. None of them recomend the procedure.
Humans are perfect the way they are. My son is perfect the way he is born.
YES YES!!!
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Original Poster:
Ok I just watched the video and I am extremely disturbed.
Ooo YEAH!! Be disturbed so you DON'T do it!!!
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Poster 3:
I would bet they can feel it. They might not remember the pain when they are older, but yes I would guess they can feel it.
Do get informed before you take the step. It's not one you can go back on.
I'll inform you! I am SWIMMING with info!
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Poster 4:
"Ok I just watched the video and I am extremely disturbed. quoting OP"
I agree
ETA: By the sound of that baby's cries, they feel it! I was thinking about having it done when my son was born but decided against it. I'm glad now that I didn't have it done. But that is just my feeling toward it.
YES! Another baby saved!!
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Poster 5:
Jackson slept thru his, so I think it would all depend on what type of anesthetic they use.
DOH! He most likely PASSED out! And most likely was NOT given anesthetic
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Poster 2 returns:
Quote:
Jackson slept thru his, so I think it would all depend on what type of anesthetic they use./quote
To me it does not matter whether they feel it or not. I find something about jamming a pair of scissors under my baby's foreskin, crushing the foreskin off his penis, and then snipping it off, so that it is permanently removed immoral. It is his penis, not mine.
Disclaimer: I am saying that I find the procedure immoral. Not the people.
Whoo hoo this momma is informed!!
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Poster 6:
I'm going to duck and cover here with my stockpile of emergency supplies.
Ehh, she knows that there is going to be a heated debate
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Poster not lucky 7:
Max also slept through his, and had no noticable discomforts right after, or anytime after it was done. we was gone for about a half hour.
it is your decision to make. not anyone elses.
Again he probably passed out. Poor decision, poor boy :(
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Poster 8:
i heard that they only numb it or use anesthesia if you specifically ask for it...
as far as i always knew, it's like a shot.. they feel pain for a minute or two and then it's all done... of course it needs care after that and it's a little red and/or tender for a week or so, but i don't think it's any worse than piercing a baby's ears for example...
but i don't have a boy so i can't really speak from personal mother experience.. but if i ever have a boy, i will have it done.. easier to clean and take care of, easier to teach hygiene, most boys do have it done, etc etc...
Oh, So misinformed! Here i come to save the day!
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My Post:
http://cirp.org/
http://intact.ca/
http://www.arclaw.org/
http://doctorsopposingcircumcision.org//
A few sites that if you want to research and learn more.
An intact penis is EASY to take care of, as you just clean it like a finger. No need to retract the skin (at that time the skin is attached to the head of the penis anyway) just a swish swish with a wipe, and no fecal material to worry about irritating the head.
Many states are not paying for it through their Medicaid programs any more, as it is considered elective and cosmetic surgery.
200 or more boys die from circumcision, and circ related complications PER YEAR
The AAP no longer reccomends it.
Since circ rates are dropping dramatically, to circ your son will make HIM the different one in the locker room.
Most fathers and sons DON'T check out each others penises, so to look like dad really isn't a reason anymore.
An intact penis has a natural cleansing system, just like vaginas. Douche-ing causes more problems than it solves. Circ causes more problems than it solves.
An erect intact penis looks JUST like an erect cut penis. Cutting a boy's penis just to look "cuter" actually makes it look like an mini erect penis.
Most circ in large hospitals are done by interns, and rarely IF any type of anesthetic is used, is it given time for the numbing effect to take place.
Sex, for both the man and his partner will be more enjoyable. he retains more feelings and can cue in better to when he is about to climax, and can hold off to allow his partner more time. Rarely do intact men have to "bang away hard" at their partners in order to climax.
Intact men have less erectile dysfunction issues, where as cut men are more likely to start having problems earlier in life.
Intact men have bigger penises.
and a list compiled by MEN and women preserve their sons as nature intended them to be:
1. Preserve HIS choice.
2. Avoid unnecessary pain.
3. Not interupting bonding.
4. Avoiding trauma, sleepiness, and pain that could affect breastfeeding.
5. No need for a surcose pacifier=less chance of nipple confusion.
6. Virtually no chance of meatal stenosis.
7. No urine/feces in an open wound.
8. No wound-care. No vasoline. No gauze.
9. No need for giving Tylenol to a newborn.
10. Not circumcising is FREE.
11. No medical reason to do it automatically at birth
12. It's not my penis
13. If HE doesn't like being intact, then HE can change that. You can't undo a circ.
14. Avoid the 71% risk of adhesions that comes with circumcising.
15. No risk of bleeding.
16. No risk of post-op infection.
17. No risk of taking 'too little' or 'too much'.
18. He gets to keep 3-4 feet of blood vessels.
19. He gets to keep 240 feet of nerves.
20. He gets to keep tens of thousands of specialized nerve endings.
21. His penis retains it's 'gliding mechanism'.
22. The foreskin protects his glans throughout life, keeping it soft, supple, and sensitive.
23. No frenulum damage/amputation.
24. No scars on his penis.
25. No skin bridges.
26. Less risk of inconspicuous penis/buried penis, conditions caused/aggravated by circumcision.
27. No risk of reaction/allergic reaction to anesthetics like EMLA or Lidocaine.
28. No wound/entry point for nosocomial infections, like MRSA.
29. No risk of glans/partial glans amputation.
30. (Responding to #1): It shouldn't be a "choice," at all, for anyone. (Just like leaving my daughter intact wasn't a "choice" that I saved for her to make.)
31. No risk of the parents or physician being sued when the boy turns 18y.o.
32. It looks nicer to be intact and, as the circ rate drops, intact men will be in demand as lovers.
33. it enables the man to enjoy the skin of the penis fully (1/3 to 1/2 is removed by circ.)
34. no worry for the parents about the baby dying (200 per yr in the U.S)
35. parents don't need to apologize to their son
36. his future sex partners will thank you
37. he'll save money on lubricants, counselling and restoring equipment.
38. foreskins are sexy
39. his glans will not be skinned alive.
40. you can start a college fund with the money that doesn't go to a circumcisor.
41. Because they were born whole and perfect.
42. No unnecessary rise in cortisol levels, that impact brain development.
43. Avoid having one of baby's first experiences with his genitals be violent/painful/traumatic.
44. Baby avoids the discomfort of being strapped down on a molded, plastic board.
45. No pain from shots in the penis!
46. Medicaid savings.
47. Decrease in private insurance (for those that still cover it) costs, resulting in more savings for the consumer.
48. No discovering hemophilia a day or two after birth because of a circumcision-caused hemorrhage.
49. Promotes gender equality.
50. Reinforces, from the earliest age possible, that we love our children, just as they are.
51. Reinforces children's acceptance of their bodies, and that changing ourselves to fit in/follow the crowd isn't necessarily healthy or wise.
52. Avoid penile bruising.
53. Avoid weepy, healing discharge that can stick to diapers, causing further discomfort.
54. Avoiding an uncomfortable discussion with your son one day, if he asks why his penis isn't like 80% of the world's.
55. Avoiding your son ever needing to go through foreskin restoration.
56. Avoid the risk of needing a circumcision revision because of a botched job
and regarding botched circumcisions, they do happen, A LOT. My Dad, an RN, is helping a couple out that their son has had 2 corrective operations done. They don't know if he will be able to function sexually.
any more questions, feel free to pm me
Lizzardbits
ETA: most babies don't sleep through it, they PASS out from crying so hard. Most health professionals that are trained in circ, or bringing baby back to their parents, are told to tell the parenets that they slept, or that they did fine, or any other way to allieviate parents fear that their baby was HURT.
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Poster 3 returns:
Im always confused by the "most people have it done" argument. Thats true in the US (and its like 60/40 or even closer to 50/50 in some places) and Israel, for ovbiuos reasons. Most the world doesnt do it.
I would advice finding men who have had it done, and not had it done and talk to them about it.
That's some good advice
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Poster 9:
Wow! Shocked That video is extremely disturbing. Before I thought for sure I would have my son(if I ever have one) circumsized, but now I really don't know
Woot another boy saved!
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Poster 10:
That was really scary, but I will still have my sons circumcized for health & cleanliness purposes. My poor babies! I'll probably cry the whole time. But it sounds like that most babies sleep through the process...that'll make me feel better!
Yeah you are right, your POOR babies!
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Poster 11:
"Im always confused by the "most people have it done" argument. Thats true in the US (and its like 60/40 or even closer to 50/50 in some places) and Israel, for ovbiuos reasons. Most the world doesnt do it.
I would advice finding men who have had it done, and not had it done and talk to them about it."
This is a good post.
Definitely find out all you can before taking this step.
"That was really scary, but I will still have my sons circumcized for health & cleanliness purposes. My poor babies! I'll probably cry the whole time. But it sounds like that most babies sleep through the process...that'll make me feel better!"
Washing properly is a better alternative. The hygiene defense just doesn't cut it for me.
Oh God that was an awful awful pun. Sorry.
No living male in our family (both sides) has been circumcised and none have suffered for it. The foreskin is designed to protect the delicate glans from abrasion and infection, kinda akin to an eyelid. It has many other important functions but I do not wish to debate this kind of topic now.
Like some other wise poster I am now ducking for cover in my fall out shelter.
Oh but, stay and fight with me!
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Poster 12:
I doubt very highly babies would sleep through it.
In that video, you can clearly see the baby squirming and kicking its legs -- so much so that the doctor has to pause what he is doing a few times -- imagine if he didn't have such good control, he could have easily mutilated that poor babies penis more.
I'm a nursing student, and thusfar that video is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Disgusting.
I guess it's the parents choice, but I know personally I couldn't walk away from that procedure, with my baby in my arms, feeling "guilt-free."
Yes! I am glad that you find it disgusting and i hope that it carries with you until you have kids.
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that's it so far, but i am waiting for the nuclear blast....but so far so good!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Oh yeah, the job
the interview went great, and pending a pre-hire physical and background check, i will start within the next 2 weeks. If it weren't for the lack of joy expressed by my parents, and the pain that i am in, i would post more and be jumping my ass off in joy.
what a pain in the neck
i went to the chiropractor today because i couldn't stand the pain. turns out that my pain comes from neck even though i feel it in my neck, shoulders, and radiating down my left arm.
He adjusted me and i felt good for a bit, but now it is damn near impossible to move with out something SCREAMING to me in sharp pain....UGGHH! I think that i'd rather be in labor. At least there is a reprieve from pain in the span between ctx.
yeah, bitch and moan and take yet more ibuprofen....
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I don't like pain, it hurts me!
I have a vertebrea or two that are out and are causing extreme pain between my shoulders and on my left side and neck. I usually can crack my own back and pop things back into place but this time it didn't work. I can now TOTALLY sympathize with very large breasted women that have upper back pain. Uhh, it is even hard to take deep breaths. Hopefully a trip to the chiropractor will solve it. I have a job interview tomorrow and i don't want to mess it up.
the job that i am wanting is working with kids at an after school program that is designed especially with kids that have psychological, socio/economic difficulties. Much like my son who has Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He is a success story and i shared a little bit about him to one of the ladies that interviewed me over the phone. I am hoping i have this in the bag. it is part time and with my bi-polar, part-time would be ideal and hopefully not to overwhelming.
Some of my past jobs (working in group homes with mentally disabled adults) sometimes got overwhelming and instead of dealing with it, i would call in sick, or dead, lol. One job that i had for over 2 years, i walked out when i was tired of my supervisor breathing down my neck. Just quit. Poof.
I need this job, not only for money, but mental stability as well and get away from my parents and their nagging. Yes, kids, i am nearly 30 and i live with my parents, but hopefully that will end shortly after my fiance' moves to the states.
time for bed, but wish me luck on both the pain and the job :)
