Even Better News!

Today I got notice that the USCIS has gotten another bit of info needed and that according to their processing dates--we may only have 50 or less days to wait until he is approved!!! Woot!

Oh, and yeah, M has 2 PCs and he will surely let me use them and blog all my great adventures in the UK.

Woo hoo! I leave in a day!

I just hope that I don't arrive there with my skin peeling...I spent almost the entire day at the pool swimming with my kids since it will be the last full day that we can spend at the pool. Tomorrow I will be getting my hair colored and cut. So no chlorine for my hair, and no swimming with the fish, I mean, kids. (I will miss that with the kids while I am gone, as we spent most of this summer in the pool. Oh Goodness, and there was a sharp pang of momma guilt of leaving my kids for a month, the first of many i am sure) then I need to pack. and pack for my kids for when they go off to stay with their dad--Grandma and Grandpa providing the transportation--Thank you Mom and Dad! Busy busy day tomorrow, but MW is here to spend some time and she willbe a great help I am sure. MW has had a good time so far, and has Chatted with MS and he said that he missed her, so a little time away might repair things---we can only hope...

Anyway, I must stop rambling and get some sleep for the busy busy day!!!

the good news

I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!!I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!! I get to see M in less than 50 hours!!!

I will be landing in the UK on the 27th at 0655 GMT or that is 12:55am Central standard USA, 1:55am for my florida reader, and 11:55pm on the 26th for my Utah reader.

I miss M sooooo much. I can't wait to see him, and hold him and kiss him and other fun adult activities :)

I will get to spend just over 27 days with him, and he has some touristy things planned. However, I do have to be kind of sad because I really wanted to go to London, via one of those 200 mph bullet trains. Then spend 2 days there, playing, and I want to go to the Whitechaple area where Jack the Ripper did his ripperings---I am so morbid, but I am ABSOLUTELY facinated by it. Have a Pint at the Ten Bells, make myself go across Tower Bridge, and listen to Big Ben clang away. Problem---his babies--Bubble and Baby---his two cats. Apparently there are no reasonably priced kittie hotels near him, and his mother won't look after them for two days as they would have to stay at his flat, and she would have to come over once a day and feed and water them. She doesn't think that it is fair to the cats to be left alone for 2 days....I differ with that opinion as cats are very independent creatures and can survive very well when let to their own devices. So no London...this is the only chance that we would honestly ever get to go to London, as the next time that we go back to the UK, we will have the kids and we will be wanting to spend time with grandpa and grandma, not taking long trips around, lugging kids, bags, toys, and the rest of the "things" that my children just "can't" travel without. That sounds like no fun at all. *sigh*

I do hope that since they are legal over in the UK, that I get to smoke another Cuban cigar, and I really really want to try the Impressionists' drink of choice--Absinthe!

M has plans to go to a place in his city that sells lots of jewelry, and we can pick out our rings. I really would like a small, inexpensive silver ring, perhaps done in a Celtic knot. M likes big chunky man rings....I wonder how we will find a set??

What I am really wishing is that or Visa petition gets approved whilst I am over there, we go to London for his interview and I go into the interview with him and pipe up in my American midwestern twang and say that yes sirree bob, i luv 'em and I want to get hitched to that fine young feller sat down right there next ta me. Just as added proof that yes indeed we are getting married for love :) he can have his medical, we get the ok from the Brits and we manage to get it together enough, get the mover set up, the cat mover set up, pack up and he flies back home with me. *sigh* however we couldn't get married right away because we have to wait for him to get a SSN. That would be in September....out of all of the months in the year, that is the one we won't get married in...even if all it is just quick I do's for the legal wedding...September is out. I like September, my daughter was born in September. M was married in Sept and 2 years and a few days later his divorce was finalized. so September won't work. However I will be exstatic to have him here with me :)

I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England! I am going to England!

I am going to have some proper tea and scones, or tea and crumpets. Oo and fish and chips from a proper chippie, with a pint of English beer. Oh and a kebab--mmmm kebabs! I am going to be riding on double decker busses again, on the wrong side of the road. I'll be going round 187848913465981347 roundabouts and traffic calmers and zebra humped crossings. Listening to the sounds of daily English life in their different English accents--I like the posh sounding accents, but i am partial to Brummy. I get to see his parents again----Ooo i really really like my soon-to-be in-laws--Woo Hoo!

.....now i just need to finish packing :)

the bad news

my good friends MS and MW are breaking up. They have been together for 8 years and lived together for 7. He is through, he doesn't love her anymore and he told her that there is no fixing it. She is in a world of shock and pain, as they did everything together. Their dreams of graduating from college and moving to Florida and work at the Mouse House in Orlando are perhaps no more. for nearly 7 years they have been working towards this goal.

I am shock and stunned myself. I am friends with both and I feel torn. I hate that this is happening and I hate that my friends are hurting.

I wish that i had a magic wand and *POOF* make everything all better. But I can't, so I'll be the best of a friend to both that i can be.

Brit Shalom- A Covenant of Peace

The following is not my writings, but a very eloquently written post copy and pasted with permission from Leigh at a parenting board that i frequent. Thank you Leigh for your insight and knowledge:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi all... I am 33 yo old mom to 13 yo Zachary and 16 mo Julian. I was raised in a very traditional Jewish family- I attended hebrew day school, hebrew high, had a bat mitzvah, went to synagogue every Saturday, celebrated Shabbat every Friday..... so, when I had my first son, I didn't consider NOT circumcising him and had a brit milah in which he was circumcised.

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I prayed that I would have a girl because I knew that I would NOT circumcise this child and didn't want to deal with the issue of circumcision with my family. Needless to say, I had a boy. I am at a point in my life where I strongly reject any organized religion but embrace god/goddess/spirit/humanity. My parents, however, are very traditional and feel very strongly about the "tradition" of circumcision. My dad sat down with me and explained, in great detail, how important circumcision was to him, and why he felt it played such an important role in Judaism. In response to that conversation, I did a lot of research and prepared the following presentation for him, called Brit Shalom, or Covenant of Peace. I am very happy to say that I am so PROUD of how well my dad responded, how he respected me and my decision, and especially that he held my son in his Talis during Julian's Welcoming Ceremony, in which he was NOT circumcised. I love you dad



BRIT SHALOM
A Covenant of Peace

According to Jewish law (halakha):
ANY BOY BORN TO A JEWISH MOTHER IS A JEW. IN NO BRANCH OF JUDAISM IS A CHILD REQUIRED TO BE CIRCUMCISED TO BE JEWISH. HE IS JEWISH BY THE FACT THAT HE IS BORN TO A JEWISH MOTHER.

Most Jews never question circumcision and believe it is anti-Semitic to do so. Judaism is, however, a religion of questioning. It is not similar to Christianity where the epitome of faith is blind faith without questioning.

Gil Mann, a Jewish Columnist comments:
“Questions about faith are not unique. They are very Jewish. For thousands of years, Jews have struggled with many of the same questions. Questioning about God is very much part of our tradition. We’re called People of Israel. The word Israel in Hebrew means wrestler or struggler with God. So if you struggle with questions about God, you’re living up to your namesake.”


A Jewish prayer book, Gates of Prayer, contains a meditation called “Doubt”.
“Cherish your doubts, for doubt is the handmaiden of truth. Doubt is the key to the door of knowledge. It is the servant of discovery. A belief which may not be questioned binds us to error, for there is incompleteness and imperfection in every belief. Doubt is the touchstone of truth. It is an acid which eats away the false… Those who would silence doubt are filled with fear. The house of their spirit is built on shifting sands. But they that fear not doubt, and know its use, are founded on a rock. They shall walk in the light of growing knowledge. The work of their hands shall endure. Therefore, let us not fear doubt, but let us rejoice in its help; it is to the wise as a staff is to the blind. Doubt is the handmaiden of truth.”

Many parents insist on the Brit Mila because it is commanded in the Torah. However, they overlook many other laws that were commanded as well. The 613 mitzvot contain many regarding animal sacrifice which is no longer practiced today. There are also the mitzvot against imprinting any marks on one’s body or making cutting in one’s flesh. Cutting off part of a baby’s genitals flies in the face of these mitvot.


Exodus and Leviticus both set forth harsh laws as well, many which have been abandoned.

• He who strikes his mother or father shall be put to death (Exodus 21:15)

• He who insults his father or his mother shall be put to death (Exodus 21:17)

• If a man commits adultery with a married woman, committing adultery with another man’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death (Leviticus 20:10)

Other examples which are expected to be followed meticulously include:

• Once a tree is planted, its fruit must not be eaten for 5 years (Leviticus 19:23)

• You shall not put on a cloth from a mixture of 2 kinds of materials (Leviticus 19:19)


Leviticus 18:19 demands “Do not come near a woman during her period of uncleanliness to uncover her nakedness. Leviticus 20:18 states “If a man lies with a woman in her infirmity and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow and she has exposed her blood flow; both of them shall be cut off from among their people.”

Many of these laws have been disregarded by contemporary Jews. Typically, only Orthodox Jews follow laws regarding menstrual purity, which, like brit milah, are commanded in the 613 mitzvot. In fact, Unlike the Sabbath and kashrut, the laws of family purity are virtually unknown to non-Orthodox Jews. It is, however, important to note the similarity between the consequences of both not circumcising and having intercourse with a menstruating woman. One who fails to circumcise the flesh of his skin “shall be cut off from his kin” where as one comes in contact with menstrual blood as well as the menstruating woman “shall be cut off from among their people.” Whereas the family purity laws have been abandoned by the majority of Jews, the circumcision law, however, has not even though their consequences are extremely similar.


While many circumcise because it is commanded in the Torah, the procedure they are doing is not actually biblical. Jewish babies today do not undergo the same procedure Abraham & Jacob did. Originally, only the small piece of foreskin that hung over the glands was cut which actually left the majority of the foreskin intact.

Rabbis sought to prevent Jews from hiding their circumcisions and therefore their Jewish identity by drastically altering the required procedure for brit milah.

In about 140 CE, Jewish law was altered so that radical circumcisions called Periah must be performed. Periah consists of the complete stripping and shearing of the foreskin. While many turn to the Torah as proof that the brit is required, the brit that is performed today is not the same as what God required of Abraham. Prior to 140 CE, circumcision was much milder and only removed a sliver of the foreskin. Metzitzah- sucking the baby’s blood from the wound- was a long standing and essential part of the ceremony until about the end of the 19th century.

In Genesis, circumcision is referred to as “the covenant between me and you and your offspring to follow which you shall keep.” However, a covenant is a mutual pledge, which an 8 day old infant is too young to understand. Therefore, by entering a child into that covenant they are taking away the child’s free will, and he is not allowed to decide for himself how to act.

“The Jewish view is that humans have the free moral will to choose the Good and this free moral will can be more powerful than the evil inclination. Indeed, Jewish ethics required the idea than humans decide for themselves how to act (“The Difference Between Judaism & Christianity”).

Advocating Circumcision Today (ACT), a Jewish organization states “another form of sacrifice by circumcision is the self-sacrifice involved. Many mitzvoth require sacrifice, sometimes even fasting and abstinence from food and drink. The greatest sacrifice, however, is that of a part of the body.” The brit milah, however, is not a self sacrifice.

Two of the greatest strengths of Judaism are its rationality and its commitment to learning and scholarship. Another is the tradition of gemilut Chasidim, acts of loving kindness, and the prohibition of deliberately causing pain.

This concept of sacrifice is in opposition with the Torah. Jewish law also forbids causing Tsa’ar Ba’alei Chaim, or pain in living things. However, circumcision is very painful. A sop of wine or even modern anesthesia during the operation is no solution to the pain problem. The wound continues to sting whenever urine enters it until it heals- 10 to 14 days later.


Gil Man writes “A bris is the oldest ritual in Judaism. For countless generations, our people have followed this tradition and wouldn’t want to be the person to break the chain. However, Judaism advocates an attempt to repair the world, tikun olam, which is a central purpose of Judaism. Much of the pain in the world is a result of repeating old harmful patterns of behavior by breaking a chain of pain; foregoing circumcision contributes to our healing. As we heal from our pain, we will be better able to reach our ethical and spiritual potential. Certainly tradition keeps Judaism alive but so does inquiry, dialogue, and well thought out alteration.”

Even in Israel there are Jewish organizations that oppose brit milah. One non-profit organization in Israel working to stop circumcision took its case to the High Court of Justice in 1998 and maintained in its petition that “in a modern democratic society there is no place for the barbaric ceremony which mauls a child who does not have any say in the matter”. The movement is largely made up of Reform parents, but it is visible in other areas as well. Moshe Rothenberg is a Conservative Jew living in an observant Jewish community in Brooklyn, yet he did not circumcise his son. The Af-milah newsletter is an Israeli newsletter dedicated to ending brit milah. Those who question and refuse to have a brit milah aren’t doing it because they have assimilated or because they are anti-Semitic, but feel this way after careful study of Jewish texts and observances.

Whether or not it conflicts with other Jewish principles, circumcision is still considered a quintessential Jewish act, a symbol of the covenant between God and the Jewish people and a primary emblem of Jewish identity. Questioning circumcision, however, is also a Jewish tradition. Thus, a decision not to circumcise an infant, but to observe the covenant through a symbolic ceremony instead of a traditional one, can also be a Jewish decision which follows with traditional Judaism. Parents who refuse are not merely disregarding a Jewish tradition, but are embracing the Jewish tradition of questioning and understanding.

Circumcision is a poor way to introduce a newborn male into the world and into the Jewish community. In addition, it completely excludes females from participating in a sacred ritual (thank God). From the start it relegates females as being less important than males as historically there has been no equivalent ceremony to welcome newborn Jewish female babies. That Judaism is a very patriarchal religion is no secret and that little boys are given such prominence in Jewish life and ritual is not surprising. For Jewish feminists, a brit milah is a girl’s first major experience of exclusion. The exclusion continues: women are often excluded from meaningful participation in religious life. Women may be called “Queen” or may be put on a pedestal but an Orthodox man still thanks God every morning for not having been created a woman.

Circumcision cannot be claimed as a symbol of Jewish identity. By Jewish law, any child born to a Jewish mother is a Jew. Furthermore, Judaism did not invent circumcision. According to anthropologists, the practice was well established in Egypt over 6,000 years ago. Muslims also circumcise and 60% of non-Jews in the U.S. are circumcised. Therefore, how can circumcision be claimed as either the source of Jewish identity or of its strength?

Many people invoke the power of “tradition”. Yet no-one would deny that some traditions, such as slavery, segregation, and female circumcisions are bad traditions that should be changed.


“A voice from heaven should be ignored if it is not on the side of justice”
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

One might reasonably ask why it is that the vast majority of Jews who show no particular attachment to the details of the Jewish covenant so tenaciously defend this particular commandment. Many committed Jews, especially women who feel that they have been left out of meaningful participation of religious life, are creating new rituals and adding to, subtracting from, or enriching existing ones.

Many parents are seeking an alternative to circumcision while still welcoming him into the covenant of Abraham. Several alternative bris ceremonies have been created which fulfill the spiritual and communal obligations without its traumatic effects. These ceremonies lovingly welcome a Jewish boy into the community while maintaining his bodily integrity and his human rights.

Norm Cohen, director of NOCIRC, has written an alternative bris ceremony to use which holds very closely to the traditional ceremony. “We’re working within the Jewish faith and the concepts of Judaism to make it more humane.”

Some Jews may question alternative rituals, but according to Rabbi Eugene Cohen, 80% of American Jewish circumcisions already do not meet the ritual standards. In addition, the religious ritual should be performed with the “appropriate mindset”. But this cannot be forced. Many Jews circumcise their sons with great emotional conflict, reluctance and regret. “The alternative ritual allows for congruence of intention, attitude, action and feeling.”

In the name of Ahavat Yisrael- love of Jews, love of all people, love of God- we must not do anything hurtful to another human being, including and especially our children. It is essential to evaluate an idea not solely based on its conformity with the Torah, but also in light of its agreement with reason and experience. I raise questions about Jewish circumcision with the understanding that these questions and doubts can cause feelings of grief. I respect these feelings and acknowledge the profound place that circumcision has in Jewish tradition. However, I am compelled to break the silence that supports circumcision and raise these questions out of deep caring and compassion for my son.



Sources:
• “Questioning Circumcision: A Jewish Perspective” by Ronald Goldman
• The Kindest Uncut” by Michael S. Kimmel
• The Israeli Association Against Brit Milah
• “A Delicate Ritual” by Blair Pollock
• Jewsagainstcircumcision.org
• “Ending Circumcision in the Jewish Community” by Moshe Rothenberg
• “The Jewish Roots of Anti-Circumcision Arguments” by Lisa Bramer Moss
• “The Joy of Brit Shalom” by Brandy Sinco
• “Redefining the Sacred” by Miriam Pollock


BRIS SHALOM
Welcoming Covenant

Introductory Blessing & Prayers

Candle lighting
Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam borei mo’rei ha-eish
Let us bless the Source of All, who creates the illuminations of the flame

Parent There is a new light in our hearts and in our home. These candles celebrate the birth of our child. These candles celebrate his emergence into light.

Kiddush Baruch kol khai olam
Precious is every living thing in the world

B’ru-kheem ha-kha-yeem ba-adam
Precious is the life of humankind

Blessings In every birth, blessed is the wonder
In every creation, blessed is the new beginning
In every child, blessed is life
In every hope, blessed is the potential
In every transition, blessed is the beginning
In every existence, blessed are the possibilities
In every love, blessed are the tears
In every life, blessed is the love

Parent With each child the world begins anew. By this ceremony, we formally welcome you to our world and our family. As we name you today, we undertake our traditional responsibilities as your parents to take you forward into the world as we know it, to love you, to guide you, to educate you, and to cherish you.

Reader We dedicate you to Chuppah- to never ending growth as a human being, capable of giving and receiving love. With loving family and friends, you will never be alone.

Reader We dedicate you to Ma-asim tovim- to a never-ending concern for family and community, justice and charity. While you care for others, you will never be alone.

Reader As you begin your journey through life, we pray that you will find sustenance in ma-yim cha-yim, the living waters which Judaism offers to all who draw from the well of this tradition. May we learn and grow in these traditions together.

Speaker We are gathered here today following a century which has given us profound and unprecedented insight into our humanity, in which we have learned that each of us is fully human from the moment we are born, able to feel and able to remember all the richness of each and every moment’s experience.

But this century has also given cruelty of unprecedented proportion. Given both the insight and the brutality of our century, we are inevitably led to conclude that there must be no more bloodshed in God’s name. We continue where Abraham left off: We shall do the child no harm.

Parent Here we are, ready to enter our child into the covenant with history, in the tradition of the many peoples he was born into and will be raised and nurtured by.

We thank God for the birth of this beautiful child into the world and into this family. We offer ourselves this day as caretakers of his spirit and his higher mind. May we fulfill with strength our role and may the spirit of this family, from generations past and into the future, burst forth to bless and sustain this child.

Speaker Baruch ha-ba b’shem Afonia- Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

All Baruch ha-ba
Blessed is the newborn

Reader Blessed is the Universe which makes children whole and beloved as their birthright, which keeps the laws of the world in their flesh, and seals our offspring with the mark of holy promise.

Parent In celebrating this child, we celebrate ourselves and our communities. We thank you God for the birth of our son. We dedicate his life to You, that he may grow in love to become a man strong and wise. May we be the father and mother that You would have us be. Give us patience and wisdom. May our home be blessed and guided by Your will. Thank You for Your faith in us that such a glorious child has been placed in our hands. May he learn from us happiness; may he learn from You everything.

Speaker And now, to you, the parents, I say on behalf of all of us, your prayers are our prayers, that you might have a home that is full of love for you and your children. May he grow to reflect the best in both of you and extend unto the world he touches the love he receives from his mother and father.

Hine Ma-Tov

Speaker Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam asher kidushanu b’mittzvotav v’tzi-vanu al ha brit
Blessed it is that we are made holy with commandments and are charged concerning the covenant

Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam asher kidushanu b’mittzvotav v’tzi-vanu l’hak –niso b’vrito shel Sara v’Avraham
Blessed art Thou, Great Spirit of the Universe, who has commanded us to welcome our son into the covenant of Sarah and Abraham and into the human family

Baruch ata Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam she-heh-cheyanu, v’kiy-manu v’higiyanu lazman ha-zeh
Blessed are you, our Source, light of the Universe, who has given us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season

K-sheym she-nlchnas la-brit, keyn yi-kahnes la-Torah la-Chupah u-l’mah’asim tovim.
As this child enters the Covenant and the community, so may he enter the ways of wisdom, the canopy of love and the doing of good works

Baruch ata Adonai , Elohaynu melech ha-olam bo ray p’ri hagafrn
Blessed art Thou, O Lord Our God, who creates the fruit of the vine.

(Parents sip and then places drop of wine on baby’s lips)

Parents As we prepare to give you your name, we wrap you in this tallit. Praise be the powers of the Universe, which have honored us by sending this child to bless our home and family. We in turn honor this child by bestowing on him the name of :

Name of child
Explanation of names

We have chosen _________ as your Hebrew name in remembrance of ___________. May you always be beloved by your family, be brave as you face the wonders of the world, and be able to spread your wings like a bird to pursue your dreams.

Speaker Lord of all creation, we thank Thee for this child, created in thine image; whole, complete and perfect. We have welcomed him into Thy covenant of peace. Bestow upon him Thy watchful care that he may grow and flourish in the life which Thou hast given. Be Thou with his loving parents and all his family. Grant them all strength and health and length of days. Uphold them in kindness and crown them with Thy favor.

May the Lord bless you and keep you
May his countenance shine upon you and be gracious upon you
May the Lord turn His face upon you and grant you peace

All Amen

Speaker We make a toast with the traditional Kiddush and before we proceed to break bread together, may I invite all who care to, to extend their good wishes to this child.

S’udat Mitzvah, the Celebratory Meal

Blessing over the bread
Baruch ata Adonai, Ehloheinu melech ha-olam, ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz
Let us bless the Source of All, who provides us with the staff of life

phobia

I have a fear of bridges and it actually has a name-- gephyrophobia
http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12355 and the following short blurb is sooooo me.

"Fear of bridges: An abnormal and persistent fear of bridges, especially crossing bridges. Sufferers of this phobia experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. Their fear may result partly from the fear of enclosure (claustrophobia) or the fear of heights (acrophobia). Phobic drivers may worry about being in an accident in busy traffic or losing control of their vehicles. High bridges over waterways and gorges can be especially intimidating, as can be very long or very narrow bridges....."

I am ok with driving over and under regular overpasses on interstate roads..as long as they don't curve at all. But wooden country bridges around here give me the heebie jeebies something fierce. As do old bridges,yuck! I hold my breath over them and actually try to squish my legs together and my arms into my body as much as I can. Any bridge that will take longer than 2 seconds to cross will start to give me an anxiety attack...............however, *knock on wood* I am an excellent driver and have never been in an accident, and driving in heavy traffic, including Semi-trucks does not bother me at all....just those damn bridges. Driving through Cedar Rapids IA is a doosy for me as the entire interstate through town is curved bridges. As long as i don't see any accidents, and stay in the middle lane, as it is no where near the guard-rail, I am nervously ok.

So, Estelle, If M and the kids ever come and visit, the journey will be planned with crossing the least bridges as possible. And the Sunshine Skyway Bridge will have to be avoided at all costs EEK! Are there ferries there?

I used to cross a toll bridge from Ia to MO that had a metalmesh road, not one bit of cement, and the tires would make a scary noise going across it. I was white knuckled and scared shitless! needless to say, I have a rerouted my drive and have very few creepy bridges to cross.

December 15, 1967, the Silver Bridge collapsed claiming 46 lives and injuring 9

These bridges are archtetually beautiful, but if I HAD to cross them, i would have to get out of the car and crawl across.


















...and would you look at that! there is road construction!!! narrowing the road even further!!! and narrowing my trachea even more!





How about that for a weird but true phobia?....now if I could find out if the fear of aging has a name.

After all of that---I am NOT afraid of airplanes or flying, at all, in fact it is fun and exciting for me...eh, go figure...my brain is weird!

dun dun duhhhhhhhhh

at 8:40 am US central standard time I officailly turn 30....

I am turning off all phones and I am sleeping all day.

Age ain't nuthin' but a number....

Most of us have heard this dandy little old addage, right? Dear friends, I am having a very difficult time with this year's age. As you may recall, in a few days it is my birthday, and I am looking forwards to it like one would look forward to having novocane-free dental work done whilst systematically having all of one's toenails ripped out AT the same time. Even the weather forecast for my area reflects my mood, stormy and overcast. I feel like I should be going to a funeral.

I had a mini-birthday anxiety thing 5 years ago when I knew I only had five years left of being in my twenties, and that I was one quarter of a century. (my younger brother went through the same thing, perhaps this is heriditary???) In a few days, my twenties will be dead, poof, gone, just fading memories.

Good grief! I AM NOT MATURE ENOUGH YET TO BE IN MY 30'S...My brain says that i am still 18...just with the added responsibilities of being a parent chucked in there.

I set great store into birthdays and I think that out of all the days of the year, that one day, the day that you transitioned from the womb to dry land, should be YOUR day, your day to have attention and you be selfish, screw the diet, and if you are of legal age to have a good screw. Birthday should be spelled BirthMEday, in my book. And it MUST be celebrated ON your birth date and not the nearest weekend for convienience. This year, huh uhhh, somebody else can have it. I'll stay 29, thank-you-verra-much.

I was supposed to go on a 6 hour drive to go see, and "mini-vacation" at their home, some really good friends of mine. It has been at tradition that I spend my birthday with them, unless I am working, or, um, out of the country and spending it with M. Can't happen this year due to several factors. We all are bummed about it. Our little Mini-party before the Fourth of July party and picnic and fireworks.

So this year, I predict that I will get a lovely bunch of flowers and a card from the folks, we will go clean their church like we always do on Thursdays, and go out to eat like we always do on Thursdays. It will be rainy and horrible out so my kids can't play outside, and they'll be rotten little buggers. I will grow porcupine needles out my back, Sabre-tooth fangs, and the disposition of a badger or wolverine--i haven't decided which one yet--don't touch me, don't hug me, don't look at me....and I will cry, and cry most of the day.

I *know* that I am still young yet, but my white hairs both on my head and ...yes, and the newly found white pubic hairs, say that I am not.

So after reading my long winded pity party: (thank you for making it this far)

Did you ever have an unhappy birthday?
Did NOT want to be wished a happy birthday?
A specific age that you didn't want to turn?
Birthday anxiety?
......or am I a complete nutter and just need to be in a padded room?

I love the 80's

Final Score: 128


Your 80's Music Score

I HAD a great post for LGBT Families day, but blogger ate it!!!

Join
1 a : to put or bring together so as to form a unit b : to connect (as points) by a line c : ADJOIN
2 : to put or bring into close association or relationship
3 : to engage in (battle)
4 a : to come into the company of b : to associate oneself with
intransitive senses
1 a : to come together so as to be connected b : ADJOIN
2 : to come into close association or relationship: as a : to form an alliance b : to become a member of a group c : to take part in a collective activity


I say we substitute from now on "join" for the word "marriage" from now on.

Much love to all my LGBT friends out there and I hope that one day soon that all Joinings are legal.

Celebrating LGBT Family Love

June 1-- Blogging for LGBT Families Day**** the lost post is found!!!***

****WOOO HOOO What was lost, is now found! (and appearantly put in the proper order of posts. This post was really lost, honest, LOL******

In honor of Blogging for LGBT Families Day

I rarely get to show my pride since, well, I have no real life connections to events, so YAY, here is my little snippet for all those families that struggle with obtaining, or completely missing out, laws to legally unite, and protect families. I am bi, have fallen in love with a man, but we must wade through legalities in order to legally join since he is a UK citizen and we are trying to have him legally immigrate to the US.

Our plight is not exactly the same as the numerous lgbt families who are trying to have the same rights and privelidges as straights are given just by being born straight. (Sad states of affairs when a bad abusive straight parent has more rights than a loving non-bio lgbt parent has.) I would love it if my fiance' could adopt both of my kids, but their bio-dad would rather go to the dentist and then smash all of his computers before letting M adopt.

The US gov't takes a lot of the romance out of getting wed. M and I have decided that since the gov't has imposed a timeline on when M and I must legally wed, we are going to just go to a justice of the peace and just sign the document. Just another document and form in the long list of documents and forms. The REAL day will be the "Blessing Ceremony" where we will truely be joined in our hearts and souls forever (as if we aren't already)....and all of this is IF (cross fingers here) the USCIS sees fit to allow it.

I would love to see that someday where all the States get off their high holier than thou horses and allow ALL loving parents to be parents in all senses of the word parent. Could you just imagine the wonderful impact of all these loving arms to be able to open up for all the kids in foster care and those in need of adoption?!?

I remember a friend of mine lamenting how he and his husband would love to be parents some day, and they didn't care if the child was bio-related or not, but the State laws were totally against them. At that point in my life I was too self-centered to offer it, but as I have aged and matured, becoming a surrogate, after I am done with having my kids, is something that I'd dearly love to do.